Anything for Leonardo DiCaprio

My first news is that I have gotten rid of Foodie, but not before I got a free showing of Wolf of Wall Street out of him. Anything for Leo, am I right?

I've been seeing a lot of Arms lately and haven't gone on dates with anyone else in weeks. He's going to be traveling for work for several weeks here soon. It just so happens that I'm going to a wedding in a city just a few hours from where he'll be working. He volunteered to drive to me that weekend, pick me up, and take off work for a couple days so we can have a little reunion and explore the two areas. He also asked me to be his date for a wedding that is still several months away. He treats me really well. I like being with him, but I also like this feeling with him like I'm in control of my emotions. I'm not obsessing and dwelling on the future.

As we're spending more time with each other, I feel guilty about the possibility of talking to other guys. I really know I should still be dating around, and I want to. But the guilt overwhelms me, so I don't stray! I see that Arms is active on Tinder every few days, so I make sure I am as well - even though I haven't actually been talking to anyone.

In other news, one of my girlfriends has really been bothering me lately. She's a couple years younger than I am, but the more time I spend with her the more immature she seems. She's in a circle with a couple of other girls I adore, so shutting her out is not an option - and there're moments I adore her as well. But she is literally guy-crazy. She's very beautiful but is so clingy that she scares her prospects off fast. I get worried texts from her almost every day that say "Guy X, Y, or Z hasn't texted me back yet today!" She responds to every text within seconds. I'm like, "Girl, you text more than anyone I know. You're dating guys that are older than you. You have to understand that they can't and don't want to text and communicate every moment of every day. Not texting back in two hours does not mean they don't like you!" But sadly, no matter what my friends and I tell her, she's un-teachable.

Lately every girls' night out with her is a drag. It becomes all about her and the guy-of-the-night that she wants to meet out. She'll whine that he bailed on her, or will whine if she doesn't like the bar we're at because there are no guys. It's like she can never enjoy her friends and she just complains the whole time! However, the moment a guy is around who she's content with, she's all smiles and turns up her attitude 300 percent. Obnoxious!

Anyway, end rant. I'm so excited that I start grad school soon, so I can have smart friends. And of course, tons of smart future businessmen at my fingertips, in case this Arms thing doesn't work out. ;)

Thinking about The Rules

This week I stumbled on some of The Rules coaches' blogs, ended up buying two Rules books, and read them in their entirety between Friday and Saturday. A lot of their tips I do naturally, but I'm curious now what the results would be if I applied them very strictly with the guys I'm dating.

"Arms" from my last post has been a real sweetheart and even spent part of Christmas with me (his idea). He seems like he doesn't date a whole lot and is more casual about dating, so I'm worried that if I keep waiting for him to initiate everything (texts, dates, etc.) that soon he won't try anymore because he thinks there isn't a chance/I'm not interested because I never contact him first. According to The Rules, I'm overthinking it, because if Arms likes me enough, he won't be too shy to keep initiating contact. So far, since the first day I've met him, I've started a few conversations, but he's started most of them, so I feel like if I start my rules on him now it won't be too much of a change.

Also though, I met him on Tinder, which I feel changes things too. If he sees that I log in every other day, I worry he might think I'm constantly hunting for someone else, like I don't think he's good enough. I know it's terrible that I think this way, because the mindset I need to have is that I should browse to my heart's content until I'm locked down by one guy!

Another Tinder guy - we'll call him Foodie - took me out for a really expensive dinner a couple weeks ago for our first date. He's shorter than I normally go for - in my 3.5 inch heels I think I was a little taller than him - and I noticed he has weirdly tiny hands. Anyway, I felt like since he spent so much money on me (his idea) and was a nice guy, that I was obligated to keep talking to him. I didn't really like him that much, so I returned his texts at first then ignored his multiple attempts at contact for nearly a week. He was so persistent, though, that it was kind of a turn-on - so I did finally answer him.

His first attempt was a last minute try to get me to meet him and his friends out at a bar. He's done this before but I've never gone. So this time, he told me he just got an amazing new job, so I told him to let me know where he ends up and I might meet him out for a drink. Now that I agreed, of course, he didn't say anything for the rest of the weekend. Then, a couple days later, he asks if I'm in town for Christmas, and I tell him I'll be around later in the week. So he texts me the day after Christmas, at 9pm, asking what I'm up to because he was in my neighborhood.

I waited long enough to give him a reasonable amount of time to drive back out of my area, then told him I was still at the gym and had to go to work in the morning. We started talking about this movie we both want to see, and he told me to let him know when I want to see it.

What am I supposed to do with that?!

I want to see it, but I'd go to the movies by myself before I'd ask him out on a date. I am not asking him out!

I'll let you know how this new dating strategy works out.

Arms, mysterious travelers, and warm bodies

Well, the "older" guy I mentioned in my last post turned out to be needy and desperate, so I "nexted" that boy.

In other news, I joined Tinder last month, and I actually love it. I think it's way better/easier than the dating sites, and I've met a few really great guys so far!

My third Tinder date was a guy who upfront told me he lived in another state (across the country) but wanted to meet up before he left. He visits my city for business on an almost monthly basis, and it turns out he lives very close to my parents. So I just went ahead and agreed to go out with him. He was a very sociable guy (for his job he literally just has to schmooze with execs and business people all day), and I've never genuinely laughed so much at a guy's jokes before. After our date we went back to the bar at his hotel and all his clients and coworkers were there... He was just ridiculous - he was trying to kiss me on one of the couches off to the side of the bar, and I was like, "Are you sure you want to do this here, in front of all your work people?" He just said back, "Oh, they're not looking, don't worry!" and proceeded. Highly entertaining guy. It's really too bad he doesn't live here.

And I'll admit, I kind of liked being paraded around in front of his coworkers, like some sort of trophy wife.

I also have a work romance going on...hahaha. The guy is only going to be at my facility temporarily, but we met on Tinder. We'd been talking for a couple weeks and didn't end up running into each other at work, so one day we finally just went for it and arranged to meet up in our building. The first thing I noticed in person was his arms....omg amazing. I don't like super muscular guys, but his arms are perfect - he had on short sleeves, where the end of the sleeve stopped in just the right spot, and his smile is adorable. So we've kept seeing each other since that first meeting, and things are going well right now. The downside of the work romance is that now I have to look good at work every day (before I'd essentially just roll out of bed and go), and now I'm going to want to kiss him when I see him at work...but we'll be at work. Haha he said he has a secret extra office....maybe we will make use out of that. ;)

Blue texted me on Friday night - it was before midnight but I'm assuming he was drunk. It's been two whole months and he hasn't said a word. We never even broke up. Thankfully, I have other guys I'm very excited about, so I ignored Blue's text and plan to continue doing so.

I have plenty more updates, and it seems like all these guys - new and old, Blue included - have come crawling out this weekend. They must just want a warm body to cuddle with since it's finally getting cold here.

First Taste of Older Men

Well, I've had my first taste of older men. I agreed to dinner with a 60 year old gentleman. He wined me, dined me, and bought me a Tiffany's necklace that same evening. I think I'm onto something...


Just kidding!

Really though, I went to a charity event this past weekend with a few girlfriends, and the audience was much more mature compared to the bars where I usually party. I've only been on one date with a 30 year old, and no one older than that, but at the event, I met a really great guy in his mid-thirties. Now I really do think I may be onto something. He knows to how to take initiative, makes me feel really good when I talk to him, and is very successful in his career. We have a tentative date this week!

More Like 100% Enemy...

I don't know about y'all, but I draw an unmistakably defined line between my personal and my work life. I don't talk about work on my lunch break, I don't take my work home with me, and most of all, I don't work for free. Guys like to message me about my job and ask me the types of questions I would normally be paid to answer, so on my OkC profile I have a joking remark about it.

This guy thought it would be funny to ignore my disclaimer and ask for free shit anyway. I looked at his pictures and I would never date him, so I was in one of those moods where I felt like talking back. My response that you see is kind of joking and kind of serious.

What I didn't show is his prissy defensive whiny remarks back. Basically he flipped on me, said he can't believe I told him how much my charges are (which I made up because I am salaried), that I wasn't classy, and that I didn't get that he was joking. But honestly, when he asks for free stuff, what am I supposed to say back? "Oh yes, I work way more than 40 hours a week, and of course on top of that, I'll work for you for free during my personal time!!!"

We could all sit here and brainstorm comebacks, but he's not worth the time. Hey dumb guy, way to go for demeaning a girl because she wants to use OkCupid to go on dates. Way to show that he's whiny, overly defensive, not confident, and not clever enough to have a witty response without starting an argument. Because I wasn't necessarily starting a fight...

Back on the market

I just stumbled on The Rules Revisited blog and, I must say, it's quite an absorbing read. I'm rethinking all these moments I've had with the better guys I've dated, and I'm seeing where I messed up. I'm wondering how I've even gotten so far with some of them, when I'm so far off many of these rules. I'm definitely an independent thinker, and won't bear "The Rules" as my personal dating Bible, but I could seriously stand to benefit from them. I initiate texts too much and initiate dates too much, and guys say yes - but it's more of a "Why not?" attitude than them genuinely feeling for me.

I've already been following the rules this week and haven't initiated a word to Blue. Now I notice that we're definitely talking less. I can feel him drifting away, but it's okay. Clinging to a guy who may never love me is just going to be messier later. I'm calling this one: Pretty sure, from how I'm feeling about things, that I've already seen him for the last time.

I can spot five zillion trillion things I did wrong with Peter, but that's okay too. I was telling a friend the other day that, I think underneath the show Peter puts on, he's as cold as a stone. And I don't want to end up with someone who doesn't have a heart.

So I went big and logged back into my dating profiles last night - put up new pictures and everything. It's been a whole three and a half months since I've been on the dating sites, which now I can definitely see was one of my mistakes. I'll miss what I had with Blue at the beginning of our story, but I'm excited for new stories and new boys men.

All I want is time

Someone's been especially non-communicative with me lately - can you guess who? - and I was already pissed at him, so these things plus a certain few events have led me to cross him (Peter, if you didn't guess by now) off my list.

This is scary, because this leaves me with only one guy to focus on now. Ladies, let me tell you, it really is nice to have a couple of regular guys because then you obsess less over each one. I felt really chill, really good about things with Blue, but now that I have more brainpower to dedicate to thinking about him, bad things are popping up. Part of this was being disappointed by Peter recently, but even so, all week I've been an off-and-on tear factory over Blue.

Most weekends these past couple months I've been more focused on orchestrating outings and getting Peter to show up, and so I wasn't paying as much attention to Blue. Now that all my focus is on Blue, I keep getting upset that plans don't come together with him as easily as I want. It sucks that a lot of this is my fault. It's almost been four months for us now, so I feel like weekend time together should start to be a bit more of a given with him. I know it seems like all of a sudden I'm demanding extra time from him too.

I keep my crazy hidden pretty well (except from my roommate), but my overanalyzing is starting to make it public. At the beginning of the weekend I went kind of crazy on Blue. All over a text conversation, I was just trying to tell him how his actions were making me feel, but it came out in an accusatory way, so he got kind of defensive about it. And I was deeply disappointed. I'm looking for a guy who will acknowledge that I'm feeling bad - he'll tell me he's sorry and that he just wants me to be better again. But Blue just tried to defend and explain his actions and didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was upset.

I was a mess the rest of the night, cried myself to sleep over it, cried all the way to work the next day and home from work. I knew my weekend would go terrible and I'd take it out on my friends if I didn't resolve the issue with him. I tried to stop the waterworks and called him during my drive. I told him I was sorry about the night before and that I hoped I didn't make him mad. I could barely get any words out because I was trying so hard not to cry. We only talked for a couple minutes, but I got a semi-satisfactory answer from him. It was enough for me to feel back to normal and not the off-balance crazy teared up lady I'd been all week.

That evening I was having a night out with a mutual friend of Peter's. At this point, Peter had been basically MIA from my life for long enough that I didn't ever expect to hear from him. But then I get a phone call, and it's him. The bar was really loud, so I had to hang up on him without even hearing what he wanted. He could have been drunk, but usually drunkenness doesn't stop him from being MIA. I recently told other mutual friends that he's been a dumbass, and they think I'm cool (and "hot" according to one), so maybe they told him he's being a dumbass for not being better to me? And now my value has increased in his eyes? Who knows. I just know I'm done making the first move. Apparently that's what he's into though - girls who don't care about him.

Annnnyway...back to the more important guy. Unfortunately yet again today, Blue had another fuckup - the same type of issue that's been bothering me. I didn't get upset, but it makes me question things again. Sometimes you wonder how these amazing-seeming people can be single, but then you spend more time with them and quirks like these surface. I'm supposed to see him tomorrow but we'll see. I'm just sick of unreliable, disappointing dudes. Sometimes I feel like I could love him, but then something happens to make me doubt him. And then it repairs again, then breaks again. I don't want this cycle to keep continuing...