So I've had seven dates with Dreamy now, and he continues to impress me. I didn't realize until recently that he travels for work almost every week, so he's usually only in town for a few days per week - but I've had a date with him every single week since our second date. Since "Quality Time" is one of my love languages, it really means a lot to me that he makes so much time for me. Our first date was a shorter one for drinks; however, these past few weeks he's set our dates earlier and earlier in the day, so that we spend the rest of the day together.
On one hand I'm grateful for that - very, very grateful - but on the other, I still wonder if he's seeing anyone else. His dating profile is still up, and since we've been seeing each other regularly, I've only checked to see if he's been online twice (I try to take the "ignorance is bliss" angle - I usually don't want to know). I didn't catch him online either time, which is good, but I have figured out that he has the phone app for the dating site we met on. The phone app makes it hard to tell exactly when they've been online or active last, but it seems like he still logs in weekly.
I can tell he really likes me, and since he only has a few days in town each week (and a lot of his time on one of those days is with me), he doesn't have a lot of time for dating other girls. When he's out of town, he basically has to work the whole time. That would lead me to think he isn't seeing anyone else... But I still wonder. I guess I shouldn't overthink it - he likes me enough to continue asking me out and sharing his time. Things are great with us, too. I'm enjoying things how they are now, and I'm not taking our time for granted.
Wondering about the next step is just how girls are wired, though. I'm not obsessing over it, but I'm worried that I'll keep giving my time and my heart and that a next step won't come - that everything will continue to go smoothly but that he won't ask to make things more serious. He's had long-term relationships in the past, so it's not that or anything he's done to make me think this. My personal experience just tells me that not officially committing and that keeping their options open is just how most guys operate these days. Dreamy isn't like "most guys," and I think he's at a good place in life where he might commit soon. Plus, he's more than four years older than I am, so the added maturity helps. I guess I'm just wondering when I'll know if I'm the one for him or not.
This is one of the things I really hate about 'modern dating' (or dating in your late twenties) - the stage where you get to know each other, you like each other but you haven't formalised anything. In my past relationships, we were honest and direct with each other - defining that we were 'boyfriend and girlfriend' from the first date, which coincided with the first kiss. Did you ever find that happened in your past?
ReplyDeleteYou have such a great attitude about 'ignorance is bliss' with the whole dating profile. I'm trying to be less obsessive about it these days, but it is definitely a factor that often 'gets under my skin'. Dreamy sounds like a catch though, and he seems to be concentrating on you (which is a good thing!) I think just enjoy him and it, because equally, you're an amazing catch too, and he should know that!
In middle school and high school, things were so much simpler! The few guys I dated back then were automatically my boyfriend as soon as we started dating. My first boyfriend would walk me to class and sit with me at lunch but I was too shy to actually talk to him at all. Eventually he dumped me while I was at my locker, and I didn't say much to that, either. Haha.
DeleteAnd thank you, I try to remember that I need to be won over as well, and that by being around me, he also has it good! I am definitely enjoying it, though. :)
You can tell how much a guy likes you by the time he's devoting to you! Unfortunately, it might still be too early to go exclusive or delete the profiles, but that doesn't mean it's not headed that way.
ReplyDeleteI am in full support of 'ignorance is bliss.' For all you know, he signed on to show his buddies a picture of this hot new girl he's seeing.
You're right - it's still very early. I believe it's been about two months now?
DeleteHaha, and thanks for the perspective... I will keep riding the blissful ignorance train, but I will also tell myself that if he does log in, it's to show off or gaze longingly at my pictures. ;)