I traveled this weekend to meet up with a bunch of girlies for some bridal festivities. We had a night out on the town and I was quite impressed with the city, even though I adore where I live. One of the girls in our group had a very large chest -- it came up in a conversation that her bra size was much further along in the alphabet than "D" or even "DD." I didn't even know they made bras in that size.
A multitude of guys came up to congratulate the bride-to-be during the night (of course, she was decked out in a sash designating her as such, and all of us minions were in matching ensembles). At our second bar, an extremely gorgeous guy came up to talk to her and then chat up the rest of our group. A few of the girls in our crowd were acting very eager to talk to him, but I decided to act stuck up and ignore him unless he directly addressed me. I wanted to experiment with being a B and see how that would impact his interest in me.
He left us alone for a bit but ultimately gravitated back to us while we were deciding on our next destination. He decided to tag along with us. Fast forward an hour or so, and the gorgeous guy has made his choice. Can you guess who he chose? DD+ Girl. To be quite honest (and catty, sorry), she's a little below average as far as face/weight go. She just has a huge chest. He's grinding up behind her on the dance floor soon, and then they're kissing.
Even though I'd be meeting up with Arms the very next day, I was still jealous. I didn't necessarily want to even kiss this gorgeous stranger. I just wanted him to pick me. I guess I'm blessed to be small-chested in a way. I know guys aren't interested in me solely for my rack. And I don't want a guy who wants me for that anyway. Well, that's what I tried to tell myself about this guy, who was totally my type. He was likely only looking for a hook-up anyway, but it was a shock to me that he went for Miss DD+ over a couple other girls in our group who are much prettier. It was the first time it occurred to me that many guys I find attractive could be passing certain girls up for the larger-chested ladies... It was kind of a disheartening realization.
Obviously, not a big deal, but it was just on my mind. Arms updates to come in part two.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Make-or-Break Moment
So Arms and I have been talking for about two months, and two weeks into that, we first met in person.
Well, Arms is on to his next work assignment and will be temporarily out of the state for two months. Yes, you read that correctly...months! We had to say goodbye this past weekend. He walked me out to my car. It was quite cold outside, but we lingered for a long while, hugging to keep each other warm. He told me he wasn't ready to leave. We agreed that we did not want to release our hug (or stop kissing, hehe).
I haven't had an official boyfriend since high school - one where I 100% knew where we were exclusive. So Arms said the words I've never heard from a guy in my adult life:
"So where are we wanting this to go?"
I seriously had no idea what to say. I often think too much before I say anything, but this time, in this moment full of opportunities, I opened my mouth too soon.
"I don't know, what are you thinking?"
So basically, I just gave all the power away, was vague myself, and left it in a guy's hands to Define The Relationship.
He didn't do too stellar a job with the defining task either. He reiterated the plans we already made - "I'll come to pick you up after the wedding [a few hours away from his new work site] in two weeks, and the week after, I'll come back here and see you [he has an interview here]."
So now I'm here, iced in at home for the past day and a half after Winter Storm Leon, and I'm missing him and bored, not sure how bad it would look to check into Tinder - where I met him and he can see my activity.
I deleted my OkCupid several weeks/months ago. I deleted my POF today.
I know he doesn't insult me. He wants to see me and makes regular plans to do so. He compliments me. He doesn't annoy me in any way and doesn't act inferior or superior. After being on the dating scene for the past three years, I spot so many things that he does right. He kisses well. He has a great body and an adorable, sincere smile. He makes me feel good. I can chitchat with him yet also not worry if there are silences. He's not a pickup artist. I still remember our first moments seeing each other in person, each of us blushing and smiling too much.
Is he going to be my man? I don't know.
Well, Arms is on to his next work assignment and will be temporarily out of the state for two months. Yes, you read that correctly...months! We had to say goodbye this past weekend. He walked me out to my car. It was quite cold outside, but we lingered for a long while, hugging to keep each other warm. He told me he wasn't ready to leave. We agreed that we did not want to release our hug (or stop kissing, hehe).
I haven't had an official boyfriend since high school - one where I 100% knew where we were exclusive. So Arms said the words I've never heard from a guy in my adult life:
"So where are we wanting this to go?"
I seriously had no idea what to say. I often think too much before I say anything, but this time, in this moment full of opportunities, I opened my mouth too soon.
"I don't know, what are you thinking?"
So basically, I just gave all the power away, was vague myself, and left it in a guy's hands to Define The Relationship.
He didn't do too stellar a job with the defining task either. He reiterated the plans we already made - "I'll come to pick you up after the wedding [a few hours away from his new work site] in two weeks, and the week after, I'll come back here and see you [he has an interview here]."
So now I'm here, iced in at home for the past day and a half after Winter Storm Leon, and I'm missing him and bored, not sure how bad it would look to check into Tinder - where I met him and he can see my activity.
I deleted my OkCupid several weeks/months ago. I deleted my POF today.
I know he doesn't insult me. He wants to see me and makes regular plans to do so. He compliments me. He doesn't annoy me in any way and doesn't act inferior or superior. After being on the dating scene for the past three years, I spot so many things that he does right. He kisses well. He has a great body and an adorable, sincere smile. He makes me feel good. I can chitchat with him yet also not worry if there are silences. He's not a pickup artist. I still remember our first moments seeing each other in person, each of us blushing and smiling too much.
Is he going to be my man? I don't know.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Slow Walk Past the PB Aisle
One night last week I hit the grocery store after I was finished at the gym. I collected everything I needed, but at the last moment I remembered I wanted to check the price of my favorite almond butter - I'd noticed it had gone up two dollars at another store. I ducked into the peanut butter aisle, looked at the price (three dollars higher here!), and out of the corner of my eye, noticed a guy doing a double take. I ignored him and left as quickly as I'd came in.
When I reached the endcap, from the peanut butter aisle I hear the man exclaim, "Good God!"
"If you're not married, I need to take you out."
I paused and kept hiding at the endcap, caught off guard. He continued, "What will it be?"
I managed a feeble, "Maybe," then finally came back to join him after he repeated my statement.
I noticed him better this time. He was my type. He asked for my email address and we joked about our groceries.
I left him for the checkout line, later feeling guilty about exchanging contact info with someone after all the good things that have been going on with Arms. Mr. Peanut Butter (I'll call him PB) emailed me the next morning, but it was a busy day and I didn't write him back until the next afternoon. We exchanged one more round of emails within the next two days, and then things started getting a bit off.
His email started off polite but said our original date plans wouldn't work because he'd made another appointment. He eventually outright said:
Then I noticed another email, written a few hours after the last.
Did he ask if I'd had a busy week? No. If I didn't hear from an online dating prospect for a couple days, I wouldn't sweat it. He's busy and he'll write back if he's interested enough. Beyond that, each avenue of communication has its own inherent timeframe. Instant Messages are usually immediate. Texting is a little longer. Personal email timeframes are a little longer. I find that messages on online dating sites are often one, two, or more days apart. I don't have access to my personal email at work (we have wonky Wi-Fi) so I'd taken around 12 to 24 hours to respond to each of his messages - not out of the ordinary at all.
If PB had asked for my phone number (and not my email) in the first place, we might already be negotiating plans for date two.
Unfortunately, PB never got to see me again after that first meeting in the peanut butter aisle. Guess I am so "Slow" that it's going to take me literally an eternity to write him back.
When I reached the endcap, from the peanut butter aisle I hear the man exclaim, "Good God!"
"If you're not married, I need to take you out."
I paused and kept hiding at the endcap, caught off guard. He continued, "What will it be?"
I managed a feeble, "Maybe," then finally came back to join him after he repeated my statement.
I noticed him better this time. He was my type. He asked for my email address and we joked about our groceries.
I left him for the checkout line, later feeling guilty about exchanging contact info with someone after all the good things that have been going on with Arms. Mr. Peanut Butter (I'll call him PB) emailed me the next morning, but it was a busy day and I didn't write him back until the next afternoon. We exchanged one more round of emails within the next two days, and then things started getting a bit off.
His email started off polite but said our original date plans wouldn't work because he'd made another appointment. He eventually outright said:
You take too long to respond. It's like I'm trying to make plans with a "slow" person ;)Then the email ended.
Then I noticed another email, written a few hours after the last.
Hey there Slow. You have a couple of options. 5pm at XX. Or 8pm at XYZ. What will it be, Slow?I wasn't amused. His email was offensive. Childish. Impatient. Inconsiderate.
Did he ask if I'd had a busy week? No. If I didn't hear from an online dating prospect for a couple days, I wouldn't sweat it. He's busy and he'll write back if he's interested enough. Beyond that, each avenue of communication has its own inherent timeframe. Instant Messages are usually immediate. Texting is a little longer. Personal email timeframes are a little longer. I find that messages on online dating sites are often one, two, or more days apart. I don't have access to my personal email at work (we have wonky Wi-Fi) so I'd taken around 12 to 24 hours to respond to each of his messages - not out of the ordinary at all.
If PB had asked for my phone number (and not my email) in the first place, we might already be negotiating plans for date two.
Unfortunately, PB never got to see me again after that first meeting in the peanut butter aisle. Guess I am so "Slow" that it's going to take me literally an eternity to write him back.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Anything for Leonardo DiCaprio
My first news is that I have gotten rid of Foodie, but not before I got a free showing of Wolf of Wall Street out of him. Anything for Leo, am I right?
I've been seeing a lot of Arms lately and haven't gone on dates with anyone else in weeks. He's going to be traveling for work for several weeks here soon. It just so happens that I'm going to a wedding in a city just a few hours from where he'll be working. He volunteered to drive to me that weekend, pick me up, and take off work for a couple days so we can have a little reunion and explore the two areas. He also asked me to be his date for a wedding that is still several months away. He treats me really well. I like being with him, but I also like this feeling with him like I'm in control of my emotions. I'm not obsessing and dwelling on the future.
As we're spending more time with each other, I feel guilty about the possibility of talking to other guys. I really know I should still be dating around, and I want to. But the guilt overwhelms me, so I don't stray! I see that Arms is active on Tinder every few days, so I make sure I am as well - even though I haven't actually been talking to anyone.
In other news, one of my girlfriends has really been bothering me lately. She's a couple years younger than I am, but the more time I spend with her the more immature she seems. She's in a circle with a couple of other girls I adore, so shutting her out is not an option - and there're moments I adore her as well. But she is literally guy-crazy. She's very beautiful but is so clingy that she scares her prospects off fast. I get worried texts from her almost every day that say "Guy X, Y, or Z hasn't texted me back yet today!" She responds to every text within seconds. I'm like, "Girl, you text more than anyone I know. You're dating guys that are older than you. You have to understand that they can't and don't want to text and communicate every moment of every day. Not texting back in two hours does not mean they don't like you!" But sadly, no matter what my friends and I tell her, she's un-teachable.
Lately every girls' night out with her is a drag. It becomes all about her and the guy-of-the-night that she wants to meet out. She'll whine that he bailed on her, or will whine if she doesn't like the bar we're at because there are no guys. It's like she can never enjoy her friends and she just complains the whole time! However, the moment a guy is around who she's content with, she's all smiles and turns up her attitude 300 percent. Obnoxious!
Anyway, end rant. I'm so excited that I start grad school soon, so I can have smart friends. And of course, tons of smart future businessmen at my fingertips, in case this Arms thing doesn't work out. ;)
I've been seeing a lot of Arms lately and haven't gone on dates with anyone else in weeks. He's going to be traveling for work for several weeks here soon. It just so happens that I'm going to a wedding in a city just a few hours from where he'll be working. He volunteered to drive to me that weekend, pick me up, and take off work for a couple days so we can have a little reunion and explore the two areas. He also asked me to be his date for a wedding that is still several months away. He treats me really well. I like being with him, but I also like this feeling with him like I'm in control of my emotions. I'm not obsessing and dwelling on the future.
As we're spending more time with each other, I feel guilty about the possibility of talking to other guys. I really know I should still be dating around, and I want to. But the guilt overwhelms me, so I don't stray! I see that Arms is active on Tinder every few days, so I make sure I am as well - even though I haven't actually been talking to anyone.
In other news, one of my girlfriends has really been bothering me lately. She's a couple years younger than I am, but the more time I spend with her the more immature she seems. She's in a circle with a couple of other girls I adore, so shutting her out is not an option - and there're moments I adore her as well. But she is literally guy-crazy. She's very beautiful but is so clingy that she scares her prospects off fast. I get worried texts from her almost every day that say "Guy X, Y, or Z hasn't texted me back yet today!" She responds to every text within seconds. I'm like, "Girl, you text more than anyone I know. You're dating guys that are older than you. You have to understand that they can't and don't want to text and communicate every moment of every day. Not texting back in two hours does not mean they don't like you!" But sadly, no matter what my friends and I tell her, she's un-teachable.
Lately every girls' night out with her is a drag. It becomes all about her and the guy-of-the-night that she wants to meet out. She'll whine that he bailed on her, or will whine if she doesn't like the bar we're at because there are no guys. It's like she can never enjoy her friends and she just complains the whole time! However, the moment a guy is around who she's content with, she's all smiles and turns up her attitude 300 percent. Obnoxious!
Anyway, end rant. I'm so excited that I start grad school soon, so I can have smart friends. And of course, tons of smart future businessmen at my fingertips, in case this Arms thing doesn't work out. ;)
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Thinking about The Rules
This week I stumbled on some of The Rules coaches' blogs, ended up buying two Rules books, and read them in their entirety between Friday and Saturday. A lot of their tips I do naturally, but I'm curious now what the results would be if I applied them very strictly with the guys I'm dating.
"Arms" from my last post has been a real sweetheart and even spent part of Christmas with me (his idea). He seems like he doesn't date a whole lot and is more casual about dating, so I'm worried that if I keep waiting for him to initiate everything (texts, dates, etc.) that soon he won't try anymore because he thinks there isn't a chance/I'm not interested because I never contact him first. According to The Rules, I'm overthinking it, because if Arms likes me enough, he won't be too shy to keep initiating contact. So far, since the first day I've met him, I've started a few conversations, but he's started most of them, so I feel like if I start my rules on him now it won't be too much of a change.
Also though, I met him on Tinder, which I feel changes things too. If he sees that I log in every other day, I worry he might think I'm constantly hunting for someone else, like I don't think he's good enough. I know it's terrible that I think this way, because the mindset I need to have is that I should browse to my heart's content until I'm locked down by one guy!
Another Tinder guy - we'll call him Foodie - took me out for a really expensive dinner a couple weeks ago for our first date. He's shorter than I normally go for - in my 3.5 inch heels I think I was a little taller than him - and I noticed he has weirdly tiny hands. Anyway, I felt like since he spent so much money on me (his idea) and was a nice guy, that I was obligated to keep talking to him. I didn't really like him that much, so I returned his texts at first then ignored his multiple attempts at contact for nearly a week. He was so persistent, though, that it was kind of a turn-on - so I did finally answer him.
His first attempt was a last minute try to get me to meet him and his friends out at a bar. He's done this before but I've never gone. So this time, he told me he just got an amazing new job, so I told him to let me know where he ends up and I might meet him out for a drink. Now that I agreed, of course, he didn't say anything for the rest of the weekend. Then, a couple days later, he asks if I'm in town for Christmas, and I tell him I'll be around later in the week. So he texts me the day after Christmas, at 9pm, asking what I'm up to because he was in my neighborhood.
I waited long enough to give him a reasonable amount of time to drive back out of my area, then told him I was still at the gym and had to go to work in the morning. We started talking about this movie we both want to see, and he told me to let him know when I want to see it.
What am I supposed to do with that?!
I want to see it, but I'd go to the movies by myself before I'd ask him out on a date. I am not asking him out!
I'll let you know how this new dating strategy works out.
"Arms" from my last post has been a real sweetheart and even spent part of Christmas with me (his idea). He seems like he doesn't date a whole lot and is more casual about dating, so I'm worried that if I keep waiting for him to initiate everything (texts, dates, etc.) that soon he won't try anymore because he thinks there isn't a chance/I'm not interested because I never contact him first. According to The Rules, I'm overthinking it, because if Arms likes me enough, he won't be too shy to keep initiating contact. So far, since the first day I've met him, I've started a few conversations, but he's started most of them, so I feel like if I start my rules on him now it won't be too much of a change.
Also though, I met him on Tinder, which I feel changes things too. If he sees that I log in every other day, I worry he might think I'm constantly hunting for someone else, like I don't think he's good enough. I know it's terrible that I think this way, because the mindset I need to have is that I should browse to my heart's content until I'm locked down by one guy!
Another Tinder guy - we'll call him Foodie - took me out for a really expensive dinner a couple weeks ago for our first date. He's shorter than I normally go for - in my 3.5 inch heels I think I was a little taller than him - and I noticed he has weirdly tiny hands. Anyway, I felt like since he spent so much money on me (his idea) and was a nice guy, that I was obligated to keep talking to him. I didn't really like him that much, so I returned his texts at first then ignored his multiple attempts at contact for nearly a week. He was so persistent, though, that it was kind of a turn-on - so I did finally answer him.
His first attempt was a last minute try to get me to meet him and his friends out at a bar. He's done this before but I've never gone. So this time, he told me he just got an amazing new job, so I told him to let me know where he ends up and I might meet him out for a drink. Now that I agreed, of course, he didn't say anything for the rest of the weekend. Then, a couple days later, he asks if I'm in town for Christmas, and I tell him I'll be around later in the week. So he texts me the day after Christmas, at 9pm, asking what I'm up to because he was in my neighborhood.
I waited long enough to give him a reasonable amount of time to drive back out of my area, then told him I was still at the gym and had to go to work in the morning. We started talking about this movie we both want to see, and he told me to let him know when I want to see it.
What am I supposed to do with that?!
I want to see it, but I'd go to the movies by myself before I'd ask him out on a date. I am not asking him out!
I'll let you know how this new dating strategy works out.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Arms, mysterious travelers, and warm bodies
Well, the "older" guy I mentioned in my last post turned out to be needy and desperate, so I "nexted" that boy.
In other news, I joined Tinder last month, and I actually love it. I think it's way better/easier than the dating sites, and I've met a few really great guys so far!
My third Tinder date was a guy who upfront told me he lived in another state (across the country) but wanted to meet up before he left. He visits my city for business on an almost monthly basis, and it turns out he lives very close to my parents. So I just went ahead and agreed to go out with him. He was a very sociable guy (for his job he literally just has to schmooze with execs and business people all day), and I've never genuinely laughed so much at a guy's jokes before. After our date we went back to the bar at his hotel and all his clients and coworkers were there... He was just ridiculous - he was trying to kiss me on one of the couches off to the side of the bar, and I was like, "Are you sure you want to do this here, in front of all your work people?" He just said back, "Oh, they're not looking, don't worry!" and proceeded. Highly entertaining guy. It's really too bad he doesn't live here.
And I'll admit, I kind of liked being paraded around in front of his coworkers, like some sort of trophy wife.
I also have a work romance going on...hahaha. The guy is only going to be at my facility temporarily, but we met on Tinder. We'd been talking for a couple weeks and didn't end up running into each other at work, so one day we finally just went for it and arranged to meet up in our building. The first thing I noticed in person was his arms....omg amazing. I don't like super muscular guys, but his arms are perfect - he had on short sleeves, where the end of the sleeve stopped in just the right spot, and his smile is adorable. So we've kept seeing each other since that first meeting, and things are going well right now. The downside of the work romance is that now I have to look good at work every day (before I'd essentially just roll out of bed and go), and now I'm going to want to kiss him when I see him at work...but we'll be at work. Haha he said he has a secret extra office....maybe we will make use out of that. ;)
Blue texted me on Friday night - it was before midnight but I'm assuming he was drunk. It's been two whole months and he hasn't said a word. We never even broke up. Thankfully, I have other guys I'm very excited about, so I ignored Blue's text and plan to continue doing so.
I have plenty more updates, and it seems like all these guys - new and old, Blue included - have come crawling out this weekend. They must just want a warm body to cuddle with since it's finally getting cold here.
In other news, I joined Tinder last month, and I actually love it. I think it's way better/easier than the dating sites, and I've met a few really great guys so far!
My third Tinder date was a guy who upfront told me he lived in another state (across the country) but wanted to meet up before he left. He visits my city for business on an almost monthly basis, and it turns out he lives very close to my parents. So I just went ahead and agreed to go out with him. He was a very sociable guy (for his job he literally just has to schmooze with execs and business people all day), and I've never genuinely laughed so much at a guy's jokes before. After our date we went back to the bar at his hotel and all his clients and coworkers were there... He was just ridiculous - he was trying to kiss me on one of the couches off to the side of the bar, and I was like, "Are you sure you want to do this here, in front of all your work people?" He just said back, "Oh, they're not looking, don't worry!" and proceeded. Highly entertaining guy. It's really too bad he doesn't live here.
And I'll admit, I kind of liked being paraded around in front of his coworkers, like some sort of trophy wife.
I also have a work romance going on...hahaha. The guy is only going to be at my facility temporarily, but we met on Tinder. We'd been talking for a couple weeks and didn't end up running into each other at work, so one day we finally just went for it and arranged to meet up in our building. The first thing I noticed in person was his arms....omg amazing. I don't like super muscular guys, but his arms are perfect - he had on short sleeves, where the end of the sleeve stopped in just the right spot, and his smile is adorable. So we've kept seeing each other since that first meeting, and things are going well right now. The downside of the work romance is that now I have to look good at work every day (before I'd essentially just roll out of bed and go), and now I'm going to want to kiss him when I see him at work...but we'll be at work. Haha he said he has a secret extra office....maybe we will make use out of that. ;)
Blue texted me on Friday night - it was before midnight but I'm assuming he was drunk. It's been two whole months and he hasn't said a word. We never even broke up. Thankfully, I have other guys I'm very excited about, so I ignored Blue's text and plan to continue doing so.
I have plenty more updates, and it seems like all these guys - new and old, Blue included - have come crawling out this weekend. They must just want a warm body to cuddle with since it's finally getting cold here.
Monday, November 25, 2013
First Taste of Older Men
Well, I've had my first taste of older men. I agreed to dinner with a 60 year old gentleman. He wined me, dined me, and bought me a Tiffany's necklace that same evening. I think I'm onto something...
Just kidding!
Really though, I went to a charity event this past weekend with a few girlfriends, and the audience was much more mature compared to the bars where I usually party. I've only been on one date with a 30 year old, and no one older than that, but at the event, I met a really great guy in his mid-thirties. Now I really do think I may be onto something. He knows to how to take initiative, makes me feel really good when I talk to him, and is very successful in his career. We have a tentative date this week!
Just kidding!
Really though, I went to a charity event this past weekend with a few girlfriends, and the audience was much more mature compared to the bars where I usually party. I've only been on one date with a 30 year old, and no one older than that, but at the event, I met a really great guy in his mid-thirties. Now I really do think I may be onto something. He knows to how to take initiative, makes me feel really good when I talk to him, and is very successful in his career. We have a tentative date this week!
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