Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Slow Walk Past the PB Aisle

One night last week I hit the grocery store after I was finished at the gym. I collected everything I needed, but at the last moment I remembered I wanted to check the price of my favorite almond butter - I'd noticed it had gone up two dollars at another store. I ducked into the peanut butter aisle, looked at the price (three dollars higher here!), and out of the corner of my eye, noticed a guy doing a double take. I ignored him and left as quickly as I'd came in.

When I reached the endcap, from the peanut butter aisle I hear the man exclaim, "Good God!"

"If you're not married, I need to take you out."

I paused and kept hiding at the endcap, caught off guard. He continued, "What will it be?"

I managed a feeble, "Maybe," then finally came back to join him after he repeated my statement.

I noticed him better this time. He was my type. He asked for my email address and we joked about our groceries.

I left him for the checkout line, later feeling guilty about exchanging contact info with someone after all the good things that have been going on with Arms. Mr. Peanut Butter (I'll call him PB) emailed me the next morning, but it was a busy day and I didn't write him back until the next afternoon. We exchanged one more round of emails within the next two days, and then things started getting a bit off.

His email started off polite but said our original date plans wouldn't work because he'd made another appointment. He eventually outright said:
You take too long to respond. It's like I'm trying to make plans with a "slow" person ;)
Then the email ended.

Then I noticed another email, written a few hours after the last.
Hey there Slow. You have a couple of options. 5pm at XX. Or 8pm at XYZ. What will it be, Slow?
I wasn't amused. His email was offensive. Childish. Impatient. Inconsiderate.

Did he ask if I'd had a busy week? No. If I didn't hear from an online dating prospect for a couple days, I wouldn't sweat it. He's busy and he'll write back if he's interested enough. Beyond that, each avenue of communication has its own inherent timeframe. Instant Messages are usually immediate. Texting is a little longer. Personal email timeframes are a little longer. I find that messages on online dating sites are often one, two, or more days apart. I don't have access to my personal email at work (we have wonky Wi-Fi) so I'd taken around 12 to 24 hours to respond to each of his messages - not out of the ordinary at all.

If PB had asked for my phone number (and not my email) in the first place, we might already be negotiating plans for date two.

Unfortunately, PB never got to see me again after that first meeting in the peanut butter aisle. Guess I am so "Slow" that it's going to take me literally an eternity to write him back.


  1. Ugh, what a huge turn off. :-/ It's one thing to be frustrated by someone not replying as quickly as you'd like, it's another to handle it that way. Good riddance!

    1. Good riddance indeed! I don't know why a guy would think insulting a lady would win her over... He does not deserve a response or explanation!

  2. I think that time-frames for responses definitely vary on the channel, and you're allowed to be busy. He sounded a bit too aggressive and it is extremely RUDE to call someone "slow"... it's 2014! Be a little sensitive.

    (Note, if I have this conversation with my current situation, I'll try not to say something like "it's like I'm making plans with a 'slow' person."

    1. Oh no, I'm positive you'll be infinitely more tactful if you start a conversation about your situation, Sabrina!

      PB's definitely aggressive. He wants a girl to be on his terms and doesn't care what she has going on. Because of course, a girl doesn't have a life until she meets him! #mustbeavailable24/7

  3. I'm impressed that a guy was confident enough to approach you in the grocery store! Guys here are either way too meek, or they're shopping with their SOs. (Annoying!)

    But yeah, he sounds like a giant tool. Sounsd like you're definitely better off.

    1. That's true, definitely need to give him props for asking someone out in the middle of a store... Maybe in the end his actions show he's a little overconfident? Oh well, it doesn't feel like much of a loss to me!