Monday, August 31, 2015

Eternal texters, love amnesia, and warning bells

I don't think dating has ever been so much fun. Each time I sit down to write a new post lately, there are a handful of new guys - the beauty of dating apps, revealed. Things have slowed down with Hinge Guy; I like him but not enough. I don't want to abruptly disappear on him, but he offered to take me out to celebrate the full-time offer (!!) I recently received from the company where I interned this summer - I just haven't taken him up on it yet.

The Tinder match I have that I think is the most gorgeous (the hot blond one I mentioned in the last post) is of course the one who keeps sending me messages that have nothing to do with asking me out. Everyone else I'm talking to on there has at least gotten my number, if not asked me out, by now. I'm going to be patient with him a little longer before making any executive decisions about cutting him off.

One of my guy friends from business school brought one of his friends out to the bar with our group the other night. I didn't pay much attention to him at first, but once our group joined the dance floor, it just happened that the friend of my friend and I were paired up. I started noticing how funny he was, and I love, love, love guys who like to dance, and our chemistry after that was just crazy. I have never been that flirty with a guy in my life - but it came so easy with him (we'll call him Chase). We had so much fun and stayed attached to each other for the rest of the evening. It was great and made me realize what I really want right now - someone who is so much fun, and playful and adorable like this guy. (Formerly-Known-as-Dreamy never did things like this. In comparison, he was terribly boring.)

I knew Chase had been drinking a generous amount that night, but it was the biggest bummer/heartbreak ever when I found out through my girl friend that the guy did not remember me at all the next day.

That's right - one of the most fun and amazing times I've ever had with a guy, and he flat out doesn't know I exist. Here's the kicker: in the past, I may or may not have had a couple drunk make-out sessions with the guy friend who brought Chase to the bar that night, so I feel so awkward about asking the guy friend to help me reconnect with him. My guy friend and I have never tried to pursue anything romantic with each other outside of the bar, so in my mind, it's okay to date his friend. My girl friend told me she and our friends were watching us and that "it was magical," so she said she would do the legwork for me. Much to my frustration, she was not successful in reuniting us all weekend (Chase and I met the prior weekend). I am so impatient to see him again, even though I know I'll feel awkward because he has no idea what a great time we had.

I am dating someone else on Tinder as well. It's weird - at the same time, a bunch of warning bells go off in my head about him, yet I'm also really intrigued and actually look forward to seeing him again. I can't figure him out - I'm not sure if he's full of shit or if he's just a really attractive but kind of corny guy. Unfortunately, one downside of this guy is that he's hot and he knows it, which is normally such a turnoff for me; in his case, I'm letting it slide for now. I also can't tell if he's really, really into me or if he's just sucking up to get my approval (I am openly skeptical towards him). Despite my skepticism, I like him more than I think I should, but I'm holding back a little because I'm still incredibly curious about Chase.

Ahh. It's an exciting time in the dating world!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Gay bars, "locking it down," and recent compulsions/obsessions

I didn't text Ryan all week after I received his message that he would be "traveling" most of the week I was visiting. After our final day on the job, the other interns and I headed out to the gay bars, which were pretty entertaining. It was a night of celebration, so clearly there was drinking involved; the drinks got the best of me, and I gave in and quickly shot Ryan a message, asking if he'd been to the area before. I figured one of two things would happen:
1.) He could magically be "back in town" and come out to join the group, or
2.) He would interpret it as an innocent request for bar suggestions, at least keep some semblance of a rapport/prior friendship, and offer his input on which bar to hit up next.

Spoiler alert: I didn't see Ryan while I was in town. He at least decided to keep things friendly and respond that he thought the area was fun. I am glad that I didn't get completely iced out; if we end up living in the same city again, at least things won't be as awkward for me.

SF seemed a little less rosy without the possibility of having Ryan's company. I had a lot of fun with the other interns, including Romeo. I actually saw him on Tinder within minutes of opening it in my hotel room, but I freaked out and swiped left. We didn't bring up the fact that we saw each other on there, and we also weren't best buddies like we were in the first intern trip; maybe I will see him again next year if we both take the job full-time.

I haven't mentioned him before, but I've decided that one of the other interns is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. He is incredibly smart and talks/expresses himself in this way that is both nerdy and adorable at the same time. He is Indian, so beautiful, tall with the perfect build, and such a perfect person; he also has a girlfriend. Boo. I couldn't get this thought out of my head: I had this compulsion to ask if he had any brothers or friends who look exactly like him, so that I could date that guy. I think he will come back to the company full-time, so maybe one day we will reunite and he will dump his girlfriend for me. Ha. (Asking him if he would dump his girlfriend for me was my other compulsive thought.)

In other news, this week, Guy from Hinge asked me if I wanted to see him exclusively. I like him, but I'm not obsessed with him. It is still very soon since the breakup with Formerly-Known-as-Dreamy, and I told Hinge Guy this, plus that I didn't want to make a hasty decision or rush into anything. Not counting the week I was out of town, we have been dating for two weeks. He's a nice guy, but I need to take my time to meet more guys and go on dates with other people. Plus, I am highly enjoying the single life! I'm not ready to do couple-y things again and have a dude hanging on my side at every party or friend outing I attend.

He may be better than other guys out there, but I don't know how long I can pull off keeping him "on hold." I honestly need more time to date around; without it, I would probably want to break up anyway to keep exploring. I think the guy was disappointed, but he understood and took it well. The kissing situation has thankfully gotten much better; he is very receptive to "training." ;)

There are two other guys from the dating apps that I'm pretty excited about. With one, I am obsessed with his pictures (because he looks EXACTLY like a blond, American version of the Hot Indian Intern), and with the other, I love our conversations. I haven't met either one yet, but I have a first date scheduled with the conversationalist for next week.

Poor Hinge Guy! He has no idea that I have turned into a dating app addict, in spite of contrary claims I made in a post a few short weeks ago.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Strike three

It seems I have been striking out with the hotties lately. I told Ryan I was coming back to visit for work this week and that I might need more help finding fun places to go. I gave him an out to protect myself (I asked if he'd be around at all this week), and sadly, he went right for the out. I'm pretty sure he is fake "traveling" this week; I believe this because he didn't say where he was going, and he said he'd be gone a lot of the week (i.e., not the whole week) yet didn't bother asking which days I would be there. He offered to be available to text suggestions, though.

I'm bummed, but thankfully, I received some intel from Bestie before this conversation went down.  (Again, she is the girlfriend of Ryan's best friend so she really does know what's going on.)  She warned me that Ryan is really immature and advised me only to have fun with him if we saw each other again. The details she disclosed helped me lower my hopes and expectations about him. This conversation helped soften the blow of him not seeming interested, but it doesn't help that Bestie also acknowledges that aside from his flaws, he's so hot, so perfect, so smart, and (sometimes) so charming.

Apparently Ryan told her he had a good time with me after the last visit, but sleeping over probably wasn't the best way to get him to see me again! Before I texted Ryan about the upcoming visit, I also asked Bestie if Ryan had said anything that might indicate he might not want to hear from me, but she denied any indication of this, said all his other dates lately have been terrible, and said I was the only friend of hers he had ever been interested in. Some other details she told me was that he is very socially awkward but can hide it on occasion, and that since he arrived in town, he basically has been sitting at home all day every day. From this angle, if I were a guy and had nothing to do and a girl offered to hang out, I'd probably take the opportunity out of sheer boredom.

Who knows what's up with him, but I'll own up to my mistake of sleeping over. I should have known better. Beforehand I rationalized it this way: A) I didn't think I'd actually be that into him, B) I was in vacation mode, C) I've hung out with him several other times without doing anything physical, and D) I already knew that he liked me based on things Bestie has told me.

Another reason I think he's pretending to be out of town is that Bestie said he hasn't started his new job yet. I am betting that he'll get bored from his fake travels later this week. I am betting that if I don't text him again until I'm there (later in the week), ask if he is back from out of town yet, and invite him out with the intern group, he might magically be back in SF. We'll see. It's too bad he's not interested, but you can't have everyone you want.

The other hotties I referred to striking out with are Hot Roomie and Romeo. Hot Roomie is still not interested, but Romeo has been creeping on my LinkedIn page again! It's weird though, because he has never tried to email me at work, ask for my phone number, add me on Facebook, or anything - why do guys stalk when they could just talk?! I'll see Mr. Romeo later this week as well, so maybe he will entertain me in SF if Ryan ends up being MIA.

In other news, I have been on several dates with a guy I "met" on Hinge. He's really cute and sweet, and we work in the same field so we have that in common. I met some of his friends already, which I was so glad for; he aced the "friends interaction" test. This is a new test I have instituted since the true colors of Formerly-Known-as-Dreamy came out when he interacted with friends, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

I'm not sure what to call the new guy yet, so he'll be Guy from Hinge for now. He definitely seems like a genuinely good person and is so pleasant and easy to be around, but he's different from other guys I've dated. He's a few years older than me, but he told me he hasn't dated a girl for more than a month or so in quite a while. I am beginning to see why: He can be awkward physically at inopportune moments. I have never been so aware and self-conscious of how I stand when I hug or kiss someone before; he's not suave at all when he moves in for a kiss so in order to compensate, I feel hyper-aware at the times a kiss is likely to happen. It's never been something I've had to worry about, so it feels like such an odd concern! Admittedly, we have only had three dates and little kisses, so we're not fully comfortable with each other yet. Hopefully the situation will improve soon!

I am worried about seeing one guy too often or hopping into a relationship before I have adequate time to re-explore the dating pool. A couple of fresh new classes of MBA students will be at school when I return, so I want to be sure I meet and give those guys a chance as well! Anyway, those are my ridiculous dating thoughts of the week. Talk to you all soon. :)