Saturday, December 19, 2015

Intrigue, intellect

I can hardly believe it, but the show is still on for the younger man and me. Despite not having the most "proper" beginning, I expected our first date would be a lot of fun; fun it most certainly was. I think there is something special here. I'm intrigued. I was out of town, playing in the snow this past week, but that tone of excitement lingered through the days following our date. Now that I'm back, we are going out again later this weekend. He is also officially a year older now, so that means I'm officially only robbing the cradle by three years.

I can have fun with Blue, but I'm ready to end it. We had another date that was fun and almost changed my mind, but then, a couple days after my date with the younger man, I went day drinking with Blue, a few coupled friends of his, and some of his family friends. I wanted to see how he interacted with them to really gauge the accuracy of my recent assessment of him. I think what's missing this time, even more so than the confidence issue, is the kind of intelligence I look for. That great, deep conversation does not seem like it will ever be there, and I'm starting to see more of a lack of common sense and general smarts/intellect. I suppose that when I dated Blue two years ago, yet kept gravitating towards/chasing Peter instead, that's what should have tipped me off that something major was missing with Blue. I sensed it at the beginning this time around too - that something was missing - because, again, I was very interested in other guys on the side. Alone, he has never felt like enough.

Being out of town this past week helped me start to pull away and distance myself from Blue. I would feel terrible disappearing without saying anything, because he has been very sweet, attentive, and chivalrous this time around. Instead I'm being less responsive, hoping he will either get the hint or call me out until I am forced to tell him I don't want to see him anymore.

Monday, December 7, 2015


I saw Sam at one of our school happy hours. Since he popped back up on my radar, he comes up to talk to me every time he sees me. This time, the female classmate was present too. I knew she would be there, so I was curious to see how he would handle a situation where the two of us girls were both at the same event as him. Clearly he knows he's being bad by talking to me: he didn't come up to talk to me once at this happy hour. He did, however, stand in the same small circle as female classmate several times at the event. Ugggh. He really is being loyal. I was hoping I could win this one or that he would drop her soon, and he's not. Again, it gives me more respect for him that he's loyal, but I'm annoyed at the same time.

I thought Ted was about to ask me out again, but nope. Lately we only talk every few days. The fact that he's not desperate increases his value in my eyes, although I wish he would show a little more interest. Maybe things will heat up with us soon. We always go out in the same areas on the weekend, so I hope the next time I catch up with him is on a date and not by running into him at a bar. He's still my favorite Tinder match ever. I keep hoping someone will pop up on the dating apps who is cuter than Ted, but nope. He is exactly my type.

So my birthday was recently, and now I'm noticing that the guys on the dating apps who are cutest in my eyes are a year or two younger than me. Oh no! Am I destined to be a cougar? At the bar this weekend, a guy started talking to me who was clearly younger than me, but I thought he was attractive. After a few minutes, it came out that he is four years younger! He said his birthday is this week though, so technically he's only three years younger...and I accidentally brought him home with me. Oops. The most hilarious part of this is that today he confirmed that we are actually going on a date. He wants to go to this really nice cocktail bar, too. He's fun to talk to so it should be fine. I doubt anything will come of this, but I do know I will not be bringing him home this time.

And then there's Blue. It's crazy how so much can change in two years. I was really happy that he was interested, serious about me, and taking me to nice places; I am also seeing him differently than I used to. I don't know if I didn't pick up on it back then, because I was less secure about myself, but Blue seems to be lacking confidence this time around. It makes me less attracted to him. I think part of it is confidence and part of it is that he doesn't seem to have much going on in his life that makes him excited and keeps him busy. His usual single guy buddy now has a girlfriend that he spends all his time with, leaving Blue without plans more often. We've gone out four times now, so I'm getting a good sense of how things might be with him. I'm going to at least see him once more, but I actually am not optimistic that things are going to pan out with us after all.

I told a girl friend that I needed her help assessing Blue, so I brought Blue out with my friend and her boyfriend. They confirmed a few of the things I mentioned above. Also, the last time I dated Blue, when I would introduce him to people, it was so attractive how social he was and how well he got along with everyone. This time, he didn't have much to say. I've heard people describe before that they are attracted to people who seem as if they are "bottomless" - people who have a lot of depth, opinions, people who you feel as if you could talk to forever and there would still be more to discover. I'm not sure I feel this way about Blue. All I know is I'm not going to let myself be taken on another long ride with someone I'm not crazy about.

Speaking of Formerly-Dreamy - he was at my gym this weekend. I was annoyed; he lives right by a different gym that is part of the same fitness chain. He knows which one is "my" gym, too, yet he showed up there anyway. It was extremely awkward seeing him, but at least I knew what to expect: he had told me that after he has a breakup, he does not want to speak to that girl ever again. Fine by me, especially in his case. Obnoxiously, he kept walking by the bike that I was obviously camped out on. I still did not think he was attractive. I was at least pleased that I happened to look on point that day. Eat your heart out, Dreamy.