Monday, August 10, 2015

Strike three

It seems I have been striking out with the hotties lately. I told Ryan I was coming back to visit for work this week and that I might need more help finding fun places to go. I gave him an out to protect myself (I asked if he'd be around at all this week), and sadly, he went right for the out. I'm pretty sure he is fake "traveling" this week; I believe this because he didn't say where he was going, and he said he'd be gone a lot of the week (i.e., not the whole week) yet didn't bother asking which days I would be there. He offered to be available to text suggestions, though.

I'm bummed, but thankfully, I received some intel from Bestie before this conversation went down.  (Again, she is the girlfriend of Ryan's best friend so she really does know what's going on.)  She warned me that Ryan is really immature and advised me only to have fun with him if we saw each other again. The details she disclosed helped me lower my hopes and expectations about him. This conversation helped soften the blow of him not seeming interested, but it doesn't help that Bestie also acknowledges that aside from his flaws, he's so hot, so perfect, so smart, and (sometimes) so charming.

Apparently Ryan told her he had a good time with me after the last visit, but sleeping over probably wasn't the best way to get him to see me again! Before I texted Ryan about the upcoming visit, I also asked Bestie if Ryan had said anything that might indicate he might not want to hear from me, but she denied any indication of this, said all his other dates lately have been terrible, and said I was the only friend of hers he had ever been interested in. Some other details she told me was that he is very socially awkward but can hide it on occasion, and that since he arrived in town, he basically has been sitting at home all day every day. From this angle, if I were a guy and had nothing to do and a girl offered to hang out, I'd probably take the opportunity out of sheer boredom.

Who knows what's up with him, but I'll own up to my mistake of sleeping over. I should have known better. Beforehand I rationalized it this way: A) I didn't think I'd actually be that into him, B) I was in vacation mode, C) I've hung out with him several other times without doing anything physical, and D) I already knew that he liked me based on things Bestie has told me.

Another reason I think he's pretending to be out of town is that Bestie said he hasn't started his new job yet. I am betting that he'll get bored from his fake travels later this week. I am betting that if I don't text him again until I'm there (later in the week), ask if he is back from out of town yet, and invite him out with the intern group, he might magically be back in SF. We'll see. It's too bad he's not interested, but you can't have everyone you want.

The other hotties I referred to striking out with are Hot Roomie and Romeo. Hot Roomie is still not interested, but Romeo has been creeping on my LinkedIn page again! It's weird though, because he has never tried to email me at work, ask for my phone number, add me on Facebook, or anything - why do guys stalk when they could just talk?! I'll see Mr. Romeo later this week as well, so maybe he will entertain me in SF if Ryan ends up being MIA.

In other news, I have been on several dates with a guy I "met" on Hinge. He's really cute and sweet, and we work in the same field so we have that in common. I met some of his friends already, which I was so glad for; he aced the "friends interaction" test. This is a new test I have instituted since the true colors of Formerly-Known-as-Dreamy came out when he interacted with friends, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

I'm not sure what to call the new guy yet, so he'll be Guy from Hinge for now. He definitely seems like a genuinely good person and is so pleasant and easy to be around, but he's different from other guys I've dated. He's a few years older than me, but he told me he hasn't dated a girl for more than a month or so in quite a while. I am beginning to see why: He can be awkward physically at inopportune moments. I have never been so aware and self-conscious of how I stand when I hug or kiss someone before; he's not suave at all when he moves in for a kiss so in order to compensate, I feel hyper-aware at the times a kiss is likely to happen. It's never been something I've had to worry about, so it feels like such an odd concern! Admittedly, we have only had three dates and little kisses, so we're not fully comfortable with each other yet. Hopefully the situation will improve soon!

I am worried about seeing one guy too often or hopping into a relationship before I have adequate time to re-explore the dating pool. A couple of fresh new classes of MBA students will be at school when I return, so I want to be sure I meet and give those guys a chance as well! Anyway, those are my ridiculous dating thoughts of the week. Talk to you all soon. :)


  1. Ryan sounds like a lot of guys I know in SF! My friend is currently dealing with a guy who is a friend of a friend, who is interested but somehow can't manage to just ask her to hang out. Instead he includes her on group texts and hints about why she's not joining in on the chain (she hates group texts). He's 32, not 14!

    Hinge Guy sounds promising, and perhaps the physical awkwardness will subside when he becomes more comfortable around you. Some people - even affectionate ones - still struggle with how to be in their own bodies.

    1. Maybe Ryan was meant to move to SF - he's not from there though so I don't know where he gets it from! He sounds exactly like your friend's guy, minus the group text part. But if a 32 year old doesn't get it now, who knows if he ever will... Good luck to your friend!