I think the main motivation for this post today was to avoid worrying anyone - rest assured, I passed my drug screen and have received the official invitation to start my internship this summer. The day of the drug screen was pretty great. I had the week off of school, so after suffering through holding my bladder all night and morning until the testing center opened at 9, I rewarded myself with breakfast at my favorite brunch spot. Normally Dreamy takes me there, but he doesn't like to go to the same restaurants more than one or two times; so now I have to take myself there.
Sometimes I still feel like I am in middle school. One of the guys at school will be going to my internship company as well, but full-time, this summer. He helped me out with the process, and I arranged another time to talk with him to get pointers before the interview. Talking with him proved to be really helpful, and I told him so; I ended up being the only one at my school this year to receive a spot in the company's internship program. I didn't talk to him again when I learned that I would be going to the final round interviews in California, and I didn't speak with him either after I received and accepted the internship offer.
The awkward thing, though, is that he sits behind me in one of my classes, and he hasn't said anything to me, either. I am almost positive that by now he knows we'll be at the same company, in the same office (we won't be California-based, though) this summer, but he has not congratulated me or acknowledged it at all. Since we haven't talked in weeks, it feels even more awkward to bring up the subject now. I feel like a little kid with how I handle things sometimes. I should just stop being held back by silly thoughts and just chat with him about it, but I am shy and I think he is, as well, and won't say anything first.
In other news, I cannot wait to graduate. I have two semesters left after the current one, but I'm so ready to move to a new, nicer apartment and start spending some paychecks on various gadgets. I have been obsessive lately with checking out apartments online (and even stalker-ishly planning walks by new apartment buildings without going inside) for units I know I won't be able to afford until 2016. I loved my current apartment before I got the dog, but now that I'm walking the pup around outside constantly, I notice the cheap and outdated aspects and the shabby upkeep of the landscaping. I have been there almost two years now, so I'm ready for a new view. The new apartment complexes popping up keep showing me all the things I don't have. Just goes to show that even when you get the grad school, guy, and dog you wanted, you still want more; I am trying to realize that getting the next thing will never feel like the end, so it's best to be grateful for what I have rather than live for the future.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
March Check-In
I haven't been in the writing mood much these days, but things have still been happening over here. Dreamy and I are about to hit nine months together, which is the longest I've ever dated someone! He's also the first guy I have dated who has fully stepped up on V-Day. He gave me the most gorgeous roses I have ever seen, a couple of gifts, and a card that he actually wrote "love" on. I was thinking that I didn't really want to go out to dinner on V-Day because of the crowds, and Dreamy must have read my mind, because he cooked us the most wonderful dinner. He made me feel very appreciated, and it made me wish I had stepped it up a little more with my gifts to him.
The major reason I have not written lately is because I had really been stressing over my summer internship search. I had spent a lot of time on interview prep and staying in touch with business contacts, and I felt guilty for spending too much time on "fun" activities outside of working out and keeping up with my favorite TV shows. I was really relieved to get an internship offer recently, and I won't even have to move. I thought the rest of the semester would be easy sailing from here, but I also have to complete drug testing in order to start the job. I am a huge water drinker and didn't realize that being adequately hydrated would dilute a drug test. I have to go back for a second one now, even though the first one was negative for drugs, just dilute, and if the result is dilute (even dilute negative) again, my job offer is going to be revoked. I am pretty stressed out about getting the right result. It sucks, because I obviously do not do drugs of any kind, but after a lot of Googling, it is apparent that illicit drug users try to dilute their drug tests purposefully - so it sends a flag to super-corporate places if your test result is dilute.
It sounds so dumb and simple, like - duh, drink less water and you'll be fine; however, it's not that simple. I regularly drink well over two times the recommended water intake (8 cups, or 64 ounces a day) and feel terribly dehydrated on less than this, but from what I've read, I have to be dehydrated in order to avoid a dilute result. In order to be dehydrated, I need to drink well under 64 ounces of water. I've been cutting back drastically, and it feels okay so far. What I'm going to try to do is go to the gym, sweat out a little, not go crazy on water, have a good pee before going to sleep, and then get the test done first thing in the morning without using the restroom first, to get the most concentrated urine of the day. I hope this will be enough. They give you really limited notice for the 48-hour window during which you can test, and I sure hope I can dehydrate myself enough in time. It would suck if my sample is still dilute after this, because from what I've read, this is still possible, yet for many well-hydrated people who have had job offers revoked because of test dilution, there has not been successful legal recourse. They just had to accept it and find another job. Cross your fingers for me!
In other news, I am now a fur-mommy. I adopted an adult terrier mix in February, and he is so cute! He needs some more training, but he is such a good dog. It is going to be hard when I have early days again - I live in an apartment so I have to walk the little guy outside for all his potty trips, and that takes up a lot of time in the morning. The little guy loves to sniff, so potty time is not always productive!
The major reason I have not written lately is because I had really been stressing over my summer internship search. I had spent a lot of time on interview prep and staying in touch with business contacts, and I felt guilty for spending too much time on "fun" activities outside of working out and keeping up with my favorite TV shows. I was really relieved to get an internship offer recently, and I won't even have to move. I thought the rest of the semester would be easy sailing from here, but I also have to complete drug testing in order to start the job. I am a huge water drinker and didn't realize that being adequately hydrated would dilute a drug test. I have to go back for a second one now, even though the first one was negative for drugs, just dilute, and if the result is dilute (even dilute negative) again, my job offer is going to be revoked. I am pretty stressed out about getting the right result. It sucks, because I obviously do not do drugs of any kind, but after a lot of Googling, it is apparent that illicit drug users try to dilute their drug tests purposefully - so it sends a flag to super-corporate places if your test result is dilute.
It sounds so dumb and simple, like - duh, drink less water and you'll be fine; however, it's not that simple. I regularly drink well over two times the recommended water intake (8 cups, or 64 ounces a day) and feel terribly dehydrated on less than this, but from what I've read, I have to be dehydrated in order to avoid a dilute result. In order to be dehydrated, I need to drink well under 64 ounces of water. I've been cutting back drastically, and it feels okay so far. What I'm going to try to do is go to the gym, sweat out a little, not go crazy on water, have a good pee before going to sleep, and then get the test done first thing in the morning without using the restroom first, to get the most concentrated urine of the day. I hope this will be enough. They give you really limited notice for the 48-hour window during which you can test, and I sure hope I can dehydrate myself enough in time. It would suck if my sample is still dilute after this, because from what I've read, this is still possible, yet for many well-hydrated people who have had job offers revoked because of test dilution, there has not been successful legal recourse. They just had to accept it and find another job. Cross your fingers for me!
In other news, I am now a fur-mommy. I adopted an adult terrier mix in February, and he is so cute! He needs some more training, but he is such a good dog. It is going to be hard when I have early days again - I live in an apartment so I have to walk the little guy outside for all his potty trips, and that takes up a lot of time in the morning. The little guy loves to sniff, so potty time is not always productive!
Friday, December 19, 2014
Introductions and the holidays
The past couple months have been busy with recruiting and then finals, but hopefully by mid-January I'll have some internship offers in hand!
It has been a while, so some Dreamy updates are in order. I didn't visit family for Thanksgiving, and neither did he, so Dreamy invited me over to cook and have dessert. I was relieved that he didn't plan for the traditional Thanksgiving foods (I am not a fan of those, unless it's pie!), but unfortunately, I didn't like the way I seasoned/cooked my contribution to the meal. He didn't mind, which was nice, but I hate when things don't go exactly as planned when I cook for someone (especially when he purchased the ingredients and they were expensive). Fortunately, life went on.
He also invited me to his office Christmas party, with the warning that he doesn't share personal details about his life with coworkers - so they might ask some awkward questions. The really funny part is that the office secretary is obsessed with him and a while ago asked him if they could get married and adopt an ethnic baby together; and yes, this inappropriate secretary was going to be at the Christmas party. She ended up behaving, though, and didn't seem upset that I was there. Dreamy introduced me to every single person at the party, and we did get asked a couple times how we met. We didn't prepare an answer together for this question, so I was really surprised that he was honest and said we met online. I'm fine with my close friends knowing where I found the guy, but my family members aside from my sister don't know about him; and I don't feel great about the thought of talking to them in the future about this online dating business. The most recent thing my family heard about my dating life was a high school boyfriend. I feel like talking to them about guys would practically kill me - the thought of it makes my stomach churn.
This weekend, I'll be going to a holiday party hosted by one of Dreamy's friends. One weird thing about dating an older guy is that all his friends are married couples, so that is what the party will be like. I still feel bad that Dreamy has not met any of my friends (besides my roommate). I kind of like keeping my school friends to myself; I like going out independently and not worrying about whether or not my date is having fun and having to introduce him. Also, my non-school girl friends are single, so if he hung out with us, it would be a bunch of girls out at the bars Dreamy feels a little too old for. Yes, these are the silly things I worry about.
Hope you all have a great holiday!
It has been a while, so some Dreamy updates are in order. I didn't visit family for Thanksgiving, and neither did he, so Dreamy invited me over to cook and have dessert. I was relieved that he didn't plan for the traditional Thanksgiving foods (I am not a fan of those, unless it's pie!), but unfortunately, I didn't like the way I seasoned/cooked my contribution to the meal. He didn't mind, which was nice, but I hate when things don't go exactly as planned when I cook for someone (especially when he purchased the ingredients and they were expensive). Fortunately, life went on.
He also invited me to his office Christmas party, with the warning that he doesn't share personal details about his life with coworkers - so they might ask some awkward questions. The really funny part is that the office secretary is obsessed with him and a while ago asked him if they could get married and adopt an ethnic baby together; and yes, this inappropriate secretary was going to be at the Christmas party. She ended up behaving, though, and didn't seem upset that I was there. Dreamy introduced me to every single person at the party, and we did get asked a couple times how we met. We didn't prepare an answer together for this question, so I was really surprised that he was honest and said we met online. I'm fine with my close friends knowing where I found the guy, but my family members aside from my sister don't know about him; and I don't feel great about the thought of talking to them in the future about this online dating business. The most recent thing my family heard about my dating life was a high school boyfriend. I feel like talking to them about guys would practically kill me - the thought of it makes my stomach churn.
This weekend, I'll be going to a holiday party hosted by one of Dreamy's friends. One weird thing about dating an older guy is that all his friends are married couples, so that is what the party will be like. I still feel bad that Dreamy has not met any of my friends (besides my roommate). I kind of like keeping my school friends to myself; I like going out independently and not worrying about whether or not my date is having fun and having to introduce him. Also, my non-school girl friends are single, so if he hung out with us, it would be a bunch of girls out at the bars Dreamy feels a little too old for. Yes, these are the silly things I worry about.
Hope you all have a great holiday!
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Middle-school-esque
My concerns with Dreamy being critical on a past date have, thankfully, been a non-issue since then. He also has fortunately been smelling nice and clean. Often when you have a couple of doubts about something, they snowball into progressively bigger doubts - but I'm relieved to say that my negative feelings were short-lived.
He brought me to a party recently, which was the first time I met his friends. I was wondering if anyone would ask how we met, but luckily they did not; he found me online, and we had never discussed the story we would tell people. I was also curious if our "label" would come up, but he simply introduced me as M.
He does love to playfully make fun of me, and last night, while he was imitating my Northern pronunciation of certain words, he let the words "my boyfriend" slip - in reference to himself. The non-confrontational person that I am, I didn't react to it, and he didn't bring it up formally either. I'm not in a hurry to define anything. While I've been guilty of viewing guys I dated as "perfect" in the past, I am beyond that feeling with Dreamy, and I'm fine with continuing to explore if we are a good fit long-term. He is also fretting because he hates when his [older] female co-workers probe into his personal life, but soon he has to tell them - for RSVP purposes - who he's bringing as his +1 to his company Christmas party. While he is very direct about most things, he is shy about these relationship-type moments - and so he indirectly told me that I will be his +1.
In other news, the awkwardness with DC has finally ended. We avoided looking at/talking to each other all this week, but on Thursday, as I was waiting for my lunch to finish in the microwave at school, he walked into the room. He started a conversation, and we were both able to interact normally. I'm glad things feel comfortable again - it is so weird to revert back to the middle-school-esque practice of ignoring a guy.
One other thing I'm worried about is that I've been doing a lot of recruiting-related travel lately, and I think it's very likely I could move to another city after I graduate. It wasn't my initial plan when I started school, and a few weeks ago I told Dreamy that despite these trips, I wasn't interested in moving. I've gone through a lot to find a good guy, but now I'm really considering job opportunities in two other cities. I guess this will be have to be one of those things where time will tell - there's no sense in making contingency plans now, because it will be at least nine more months until I would have to decide. Career is one of my top priorities in life, but love is the other - it's a shame they might have to be at odds.
He brought me to a party recently, which was the first time I met his friends. I was wondering if anyone would ask how we met, but luckily they did not; he found me online, and we had never discussed the story we would tell people. I was also curious if our "label" would come up, but he simply introduced me as M.
He does love to playfully make fun of me, and last night, while he was imitating my Northern pronunciation of certain words, he let the words "my boyfriend" slip - in reference to himself. The non-confrontational person that I am, I didn't react to it, and he didn't bring it up formally either. I'm not in a hurry to define anything. While I've been guilty of viewing guys I dated as "perfect" in the past, I am beyond that feeling with Dreamy, and I'm fine with continuing to explore if we are a good fit long-term. He is also fretting because he hates when his [older] female co-workers probe into his personal life, but soon he has to tell them - for RSVP purposes - who he's bringing as his +1 to his company Christmas party. While he is very direct about most things, he is shy about these relationship-type moments - and so he indirectly told me that I will be his +1.
In other news, the awkwardness with DC has finally ended. We avoided looking at/talking to each other all this week, but on Thursday, as I was waiting for my lunch to finish in the microwave at school, he walked into the room. He started a conversation, and we were both able to interact normally. I'm glad things feel comfortable again - it is so weird to revert back to the middle-school-esque practice of ignoring a guy.
One other thing I'm worried about is that I've been doing a lot of recruiting-related travel lately, and I think it's very likely I could move to another city after I graduate. It wasn't my initial plan when I started school, and a few weeks ago I told Dreamy that despite these trips, I wasn't interested in moving. I've gone through a lot to find a good guy, but now I'm really considering job opportunities in two other cities. I guess this will be have to be one of those things where time will tell - there's no sense in making contingency plans now, because it will be at least nine more months until I would have to decide. Career is one of my top priorities in life, but love is the other - it's a shame they might have to be at odds.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
A Dance and a Bad Date
The Dance
Lately I haven't spent much time with my new classmates outside of school, but I decided to go out with them one night this week after we had a particularly tough few school days. I actually had such a fun night with them, which I wasn't expecting at all! Occasionally, recently, I'll get the "I'm too old for this" thought when I'm at bars, or I'll just feel out of place/antisocial. So, it was a great surprise that the night was going so well!
I mentioned "back-up" boys in a previous post and the fun of having a crush (okay, actually, back then I had a few of them) as a "back up" in case things with Dreamy didn't work out. One of my school crushes (we'll call him DC) was out with us this weekend, and he and his roommate both showed up for the night fairly tipsy to begin with. Once we moved to the second bar of the night, a bunch of tunes starting playing that were begging for sing-alongs. So our entire group moved to the dance floor and were singing and dancing our little hearts out.
DC is a shy guy normally, but he wasn't too shy at the bar. He started twirling one of our classmates, and then another, and then he decided he wanted to dance with me. We've had our moments before - I've only been out with him a couple times but we clicked and had fun all of those times. I don't talk about my personal life with my classmates, so almost none of them know about Dreamy. Well, so DC and I were dancing, and I was smiling a lot because I think he's cute. So then he started trying to kiss me - multiple times. As tempted as I was, and even though Dreamy isn't technically my boyfriend (more like "basically my boyfriend," because things are pretty sure as they are, without the label), I turned DC down on each attempt.
Finally he stopped trying, and he hung his head down, with this embarrassed look. I kept telling him, "It's okay, it's okay," and gave him a couple kisses on the cheek. I didn't want him to feel rejected, because I do like him, but: 1. He was quite a bit drunk. I was closer to the sober end and it would be weird to kiss a guy who I don't know is really into me. 2. I'm too old for kissing boys in bars! I need to be taken on a date if a guy wants a kiss! 3. He may be shy, but still, he's never put in the effort to ask me out/get my number/text me before. A boy's gotta work for that kiss - it isn't free! 4. I would feel guilty about kissing someone other than Dreamy.
We both had to be at school at the same time the next couple of days, and at first, it wasn't awkward. I was walking with his roommate the morning after, and saw DC and called out, "Hey DC, how are you feeling this morning?!" He joked that he was not feeling quite up to par. However, after that, we avoiding talking/making eye contact for the next 48 hours.
Now, I'm off on a trip in the city that never sleeps, and we don't have school again for another week - so there's not much opportunity to try to smooth the awkwardness over. DC is a very smart and well-intentioned guy - I don't want him to feel rejected or bad about acting out (after he'd drank too much), but I don't know how to fix it.
The Bad Date
Dreamy and I had a "meh" date this weekend as well. He's not perfect - there are a couple things I don't like about him - but he ragged on me a little more than normal during our date, and I was fairly annoyed with him for a couple reasons as well. I don't really like his music taste, and that was part of one of the things. But coupled with the fact that he was a little critical of me (and he's never been like that before except in a joking way), as soon as I walked in the door, I just did not like the way he smelled. He's slipped once before with keeping his breath outside of tip-top condition, but this time, he had some kind of B.O. that I don't want to even describe. How is there possibly a (nice?) way to tell someone this?!
I didn't feel very close to him and there wasn't much emotional connection that night - which is normally something I feel so strongly with him. Thankfully, the next morning, we had a good talk, and I felt better about things (but I think I left smelling a little like him - ew). I am just trying to remind myself that a relationship is work, and it's not always going to be perfect. I have to keep the good and important things in the forefront - not the superficial things. I don't like the critical thing he said about me, because it's not true if you consider the circumstances (I don't want to go into it now). At the time, part of me was glad he's not an official boyfriend, because that night, I wasn't so sure if I wanted us to have a future. But I'm going to try to be positive, because there are so many good things, and try to put the bad night behind me - aside from telling him why he hurt my feelings. It's bad, but if I'm being honest, part of me wants to see if DC is a good kisser. Well, there's the truth.
Lately I haven't spent much time with my new classmates outside of school, but I decided to go out with them one night this week after we had a particularly tough few school days. I actually had such a fun night with them, which I wasn't expecting at all! Occasionally, recently, I'll get the "I'm too old for this" thought when I'm at bars, or I'll just feel out of place/antisocial. So, it was a great surprise that the night was going so well!
I mentioned "back-up" boys in a previous post and the fun of having a crush (okay, actually, back then I had a few of them) as a "back up" in case things with Dreamy didn't work out. One of my school crushes (we'll call him DC) was out with us this weekend, and he and his roommate both showed up for the night fairly tipsy to begin with. Once we moved to the second bar of the night, a bunch of tunes starting playing that were begging for sing-alongs. So our entire group moved to the dance floor and were singing and dancing our little hearts out.
DC is a shy guy normally, but he wasn't too shy at the bar. He started twirling one of our classmates, and then another, and then he decided he wanted to dance with me. We've had our moments before - I've only been out with him a couple times but we clicked and had fun all of those times. I don't talk about my personal life with my classmates, so almost none of them know about Dreamy. Well, so DC and I were dancing, and I was smiling a lot because I think he's cute. So then he started trying to kiss me - multiple times. As tempted as I was, and even though Dreamy isn't technically my boyfriend (more like "basically my boyfriend," because things are pretty sure as they are, without the label), I turned DC down on each attempt.
Finally he stopped trying, and he hung his head down, with this embarrassed look. I kept telling him, "It's okay, it's okay," and gave him a couple kisses on the cheek. I didn't want him to feel rejected, because I do like him, but: 1. He was quite a bit drunk. I was closer to the sober end and it would be weird to kiss a guy who I don't know is really into me. 2. I'm too old for kissing boys in bars! I need to be taken on a date if a guy wants a kiss! 3. He may be shy, but still, he's never put in the effort to ask me out/get my number/text me before. A boy's gotta work for that kiss - it isn't free! 4. I would feel guilty about kissing someone other than Dreamy.
We both had to be at school at the same time the next couple of days, and at first, it wasn't awkward. I was walking with his roommate the morning after, and saw DC and called out, "Hey DC, how are you feeling this morning?!" He joked that he was not feeling quite up to par. However, after that, we avoiding talking/making eye contact for the next 48 hours.
Now, I'm off on a trip in the city that never sleeps, and we don't have school again for another week - so there's not much opportunity to try to smooth the awkwardness over. DC is a very smart and well-intentioned guy - I don't want him to feel rejected or bad about acting out (after he'd drank too much), but I don't know how to fix it.
The Bad Date
Dreamy and I had a "meh" date this weekend as well. He's not perfect - there are a couple things I don't like about him - but he ragged on me a little more than normal during our date, and I was fairly annoyed with him for a couple reasons as well. I don't really like his music taste, and that was part of one of the things. But coupled with the fact that he was a little critical of me (and he's never been like that before except in a joking way), as soon as I walked in the door, I just did not like the way he smelled. He's slipped once before with keeping his breath outside of tip-top condition, but this time, he had some kind of B.O. that I don't want to even describe. How is there possibly a (nice?) way to tell someone this?!
I didn't feel very close to him and there wasn't much emotional connection that night - which is normally something I feel so strongly with him. Thankfully, the next morning, we had a good talk, and I felt better about things (but I think I left smelling a little like him - ew). I am just trying to remind myself that a relationship is work, and it's not always going to be perfect. I have to keep the good and important things in the forefront - not the superficial things. I don't like the critical thing he said about me, because it's not true if you consider the circumstances (I don't want to go into it now). At the time, part of me was glad he's not an official boyfriend, because that night, I wasn't so sure if I wanted us to have a future. But I'm going to try to be positive, because there are so many good things, and try to put the bad night behind me - aside from telling him why he hurt my feelings. It's bad, but if I'm being honest, part of me wants to see if DC is a good kisser. Well, there's the truth.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Awkward situations, ex sightings, and a gift
Since I started school again, I've been pretty bad about keeping in contact with my girl friends in town. Fortunately, a friend (Bee) texted me last week, asking me to go out to a brand new upscale bar on Friday and also to be her "wingwoman." I got excited about the new bar and seeing my friend, and as a result, I didn't think through what a wingwoman's role entailed.
I met up with Bee, and she told me had been talking to this military guy on Tinder. He lived a couple hours away from the city and was driving in with a guy friend to meet us. Since I have Dreamy, obviously I wasn't trying to make a double date out of it. Bee assured me the guy friend didn't have any expectations, plus we'd be meeting another group of people there (a group I mostly didn't know, though).
Unfortunately, the two guys were the first to meet us at the bar. Bee and her Tinder date were eager to chat, so it immediately felt like a double date. Even if I wasn't dating Dreamy, the guy I was "paired" off with was definitely not a match - he was shorter than me as well as four or five years younger! He was a really nice guy and was surprisingly nice to talk to even though he was way, way too young for me. At one point in the conversation, he said, speaking of a location we were talking about, "If I ever take you there..." I was confused by this because I kind of had a bad reaction when we discovered our age differences.
Thankfully, I got some delicious drinks out of the night and had fun as well; also, the awkward situation was alleviated by the fact that a phone-number-exchange opportunity never arrived and because I left before midnight. The no-expectations promise was kept! (Bee told me the next day that they had tried to find "my" guy another girl after I left but did not succeed.)
When Dreamy and I had our date the next night, I started to tell him the story, but then he distracted me and I forgot to bring it up again. I thought it would be helpful for us to talk about it so I'd know what to do in future situations. When I go out without him, situations like this often come up, and they are weird to deal with.
Dreamy did give me a single red rose last week. I thought it was really cute.
You guys might remember good ol' Guy No. 1. We didn't part ways on the best terms, and I mentioned in the past that we're in the same grad program. He goes to school at night, though, but we've run into each other three times in the past couple months.
First sighting: I said hi but got the death glare back.
Second sighting: I said hi, and he said hi.
Third sighting (this weekend): He said hi, plus, "We see each other everywhere now! What are you doing at school today?" And then we had a short conversation before I went on my way.
Well, I'm glad he doesn't wish death on me anymore. (Or maybe he secretly does, and he's being nice just so he can get closer to me again and then get his revenge!)
I met up with Bee, and she told me had been talking to this military guy on Tinder. He lived a couple hours away from the city and was driving in with a guy friend to meet us. Since I have Dreamy, obviously I wasn't trying to make a double date out of it. Bee assured me the guy friend didn't have any expectations, plus we'd be meeting another group of people there (a group I mostly didn't know, though).
Unfortunately, the two guys were the first to meet us at the bar. Bee and her Tinder date were eager to chat, so it immediately felt like a double date. Even if I wasn't dating Dreamy, the guy I was "paired" off with was definitely not a match - he was shorter than me as well as four or five years younger! He was a really nice guy and was surprisingly nice to talk to even though he was way, way too young for me. At one point in the conversation, he said, speaking of a location we were talking about, "If I ever take you there..." I was confused by this because I kind of had a bad reaction when we discovered our age differences.
Thankfully, I got some delicious drinks out of the night and had fun as well; also, the awkward situation was alleviated by the fact that a phone-number-exchange opportunity never arrived and because I left before midnight. The no-expectations promise was kept! (Bee told me the next day that they had tried to find "my" guy another girl after I left but did not succeed.)
When Dreamy and I had our date the next night, I started to tell him the story, but then he distracted me and I forgot to bring it up again. I thought it would be helpful for us to talk about it so I'd know what to do in future situations. When I go out without him, situations like this often come up, and they are weird to deal with.
Dreamy did give me a single red rose last week. I thought it was really cute.
You guys might remember good ol' Guy No. 1. We didn't part ways on the best terms, and I mentioned in the past that we're in the same grad program. He goes to school at night, though, but we've run into each other three times in the past couple months.
First sighting: I said hi but got the death glare back.
Second sighting: I said hi, and he said hi.
Third sighting (this weekend): He said hi, plus, "We see each other everywhere now! What are you doing at school today?" And then we had a short conversation before I went on my way.
Well, I'm glad he doesn't wish death on me anymore. (Or maybe he secretly does, and he's being nice just so he can get closer to me again and then get his revenge!)
Monday, September 29, 2014
Communication troubles
I'm a very quiet person. It works out well for me most of the time, though, because I enjoy being independent. It's why I have been fine being single for so long - I don't need another person's constant presence to entertain me or to feel like I'm okay. I do want to get married if it's the right person, and I get along best with people who bring out the talkative side in me.
All my past best friends have been girls who are very talkative themselves yet also elicit my extroverted side. Things work well with Dreamy because he's one of the people who can do that (although, to clarify, he is not a girl, haha). I think it's great that he shares a lot of qualities with my best friends of the past, but Dreamy and I have had some communication issues come up lately - they're problems with me though.
For the past few weeks, before we fall asleep, he has asked me to tell him something he doesn't know about me yet. The thing is, I've already told him many things I don't talk to anyone else about. I feel like he knows a whole lot about me - and he's so amazing at remembering the things I tell him. It's hard for me to answer such an open-ended question, and he asks me pretty frequently. Occasionally I'll tell him some trivial fact, but I've also encouraged him to ask me a specific question instead; that way I'd come up with a better answer. (He doesn't like to obey, though.)
I tell him, "I don't know what to tell you." I thought it was cute when, the other day, he responded, "You can tell me anything." He says he asks because he just wants to get to know more about me. I really want to be open with him, and be vulnerable, but I'm not good at it. I'm not an easy person to get to know. Thankfully, he's so sweet to me and very patient.
All my past best friends have been girls who are very talkative themselves yet also elicit my extroverted side. Things work well with Dreamy because he's one of the people who can do that (although, to clarify, he is not a girl, haha). I think it's great that he shares a lot of qualities with my best friends of the past, but Dreamy and I have had some communication issues come up lately - they're problems with me though.
For the past few weeks, before we fall asleep, he has asked me to tell him something he doesn't know about me yet. The thing is, I've already told him many things I don't talk to anyone else about. I feel like he knows a whole lot about me - and he's so amazing at remembering the things I tell him. It's hard for me to answer such an open-ended question, and he asks me pretty frequently. Occasionally I'll tell him some trivial fact, but I've also encouraged him to ask me a specific question instead; that way I'd come up with a better answer. (He doesn't like to obey, though.)
I tell him, "I don't know what to tell you." I thought it was cute when, the other day, he responded, "You can tell me anything." He says he asks because he just wants to get to know more about me. I really want to be open with him, and be vulnerable, but I'm not good at it. I'm not an easy person to get to know. Thankfully, he's so sweet to me and very patient.
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