Dreamy and I went without seeing each other for longer than usual. At first, and for a while, I barely noticed - grad school has been busy with lots of homework and social events. However, I started to feel weird after a while, and I was able to put a finger on it pretty quickly: I'd been without any human touch since the last time I had seen him. I hadn't even hugged a single person, and it didn't feel right.
Prior to this realization, I had been doing some disaster planning in my head. My grad school class is fairly small, and most of the guys in it are married or are committed to very serious girlfriends. This made it difficult to figure out any "back up" targets, should anything go wrong with Dreamy; however, I did identify one. In spirit of not having my eggs all in one basket, I have this school crush to keep me entertained during the time I'm away from Dreamy. While I'm sure Dreamy wouldn't like this idea if he knew about it, I think it's a healthy practice for me, so that I can continue not to overthink things with Dreamy.
I was reunited with Dreamy this weekend. As soon as I saw him, it felt like we had never been apart. He had candles lit in every room when I first entered his apartment, which was adorable. (He tried to talk it up later that he likes candlelight as his lighting preference, as if he didn't do it for me - but I still think he did!) We had a couple of drinks there then walked to a nice restaurant nearby to have dinner on the patio.
He often mentions his best friends who are married and how he's less able to pin them down to have guy time these days. He describes situations where his friends' wives act in a controlling manner and often contribute to preventing their husbands from hanging out with friends. I always express my disagreement with the way the women act, hinting to my beliefs that a guy should still have his freedom and not be controlled in a relationship.
Dreamy treats me so well - he's so generous, attentive, and kind to me. I think I've done a good job of communicating to him that I'm not like his friends' wives and girlfriends, and I think he knows that fact himself. Dreamy continues to do everything to demonstrate that he's very interested in me, but his comments about his friends make me wonder about his real thoughts on marriage and if these women are tainting it for him. I haven't been upfront enough to ask about his direct beliefs about such things, which is very usual for me. He's an incredible guy, so I acknowledge that I'm lucky to be the girl taking advantage of his non-married status. I can see that he values spending a lot of time with the girl he likes, yet still, he's the only one of his good friends who is single. I suppose I'm answering my own question, but I think it will just take him a little more time to see that serious commitment doesn't mean ending his autonomy.
He cooked us an amazing breakfast the next morning, and it's quite a relief to see that he values great food just as much as I do! The home-cooked meals we've had so far have been incredible. Despite the issues I wonder about, everything is great with us. A bunch of my classmates are planning a day trip to an upcoming racing event (the kind that starts with an N and has a cult following of people that get made fun of often, haha), so I'm thinking of asking him if he'd like to come along, just to do something different. I'm a little scared of inviting him, though, so we'll see - but I'm sure it would be a highly entertaining day!