Guy No. 1 is officially upset with me. He's turned into a bit of a clinger, which came as a surprise since he's so good on paper. He's been asking me to hang out nearly every day, which has really been a turn-off - especially because they are usually last-minute requests. At first, I didn't say anything to him about liking to plan ahead; instead, I would tell him I had other plans. Midday this past Friday, a holiday, he asked if I wanted to meet up later. It wasn't attractive to me that he didn't have any plans, plus I just wanted to spend time with friends without having the guy cling to my side the entire day. Frankly I've felt like I was pretending the last couple of times I've seen him, and I don't want to have to fake liking someone anymore. I feel bad, since he's been really sweet and has treated me so well, but I can't see this working out long-term if he annoys me this early on.
So I plain didn't text him back about his request to do something that day. For all he knew, I could have been with another guy, or busy at the lake, and unable to write back, but a couple days later, he texted again with the tone of an upset, needy little girl. I politely told him I had wanted to have some time on my own with friends and that his request was last-minute, but he was not happy that I had "ignored" him. It really annoys me that people feel like others are obligated to text them back right away or be available 24/7. Sometimes I don't want to be available to a guy, and I know most guys feel the same way towards girls! Guy No. 1 and I haven't spoken since, and since I have been wanting to break things off with him anyway, this little fight might just give me an easy way out.
I think he is waiting for me to reach out to smooth things over, but I really don't feel like saying anything...
Dreamy, on the other hand, is wonderful, as usual. We cooked our first dinner together, and I was really impressed with what we came up with together - it was so delicious! Little things like that help me to see that we have common lifestyles and interests, and it was really fun to see his place for the first time, too. I've also said before that I can be a little bit quiet, but he's a really great person to have a conversation with - he definitely complements my shy side well.
And yes, Dreamy did make sure there was dessert after our home-cooked meal. He did good!
While they are both very tall (the same height, in fact), attractive, and successful business guys, if you look further, there is just no comparison between Guy No. 1 and Dreamy. Dreamy likes to exercise, talk about meaningful things, cook and eat well, plan ahead, and lead a busy social life outside of his busy work schedule, while Guy No. 1 constantly talks about being lazy with working out (he's in shape...for now, at least), doesn't ever cook, eats all his meals at restaurants, is messy at home, and depends on me for most of his social life. It is quite clear who is the better match...
Guy No 1 gets the axe! He reminds me of the Consultant I dated, in the sense that he seemed to have no life (partly because he was so new to the city, but it put lots of pressure on me).
ReplyDeleteGlad things continue to go well with Dreamy!
At least the Consultant had the excuse of being new in town. Guy No. 1 has lived here for several years!
DeleteAnd thanks, me too!
Guy No.1 sounds really irritating! There's definitely a fine line between attentive and needy!
ReplyDeleteReally happy that things are going well with Dreamy!
Yes, so true! Sadly, it took me a month-ish to realize he was on the needy end rather than the attentive one... It makes you wonder when a guy tells you how much he likes you so quickly - he just might be a clinger!
DeleteYeah, you never want to be someone's sole source of entertainment. That is too big of a burden and just asking for eventual resentment! Good call on moving on from that one. Best of luck for continued adventures with Dreamy, he sounds promising!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! His dating profile talked about how he likes to go out on the town a lot...it was weird that he'd always try to get in on my friends' plans rather than make his own! And thank you :)
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