I've been thinking about timing a lot this past week. After I dated Peter (my biggest crush of all time) for the first time, I often found myself wishing I hadn't met him when I was so young - I thought he would have been more interested if I was wiser, my dating game was better, and my career was more established. When we ran into each other again, and started dating for a second time, I was so excited for a second chance.
But now I see that the failed attempts with Peter have just been preparing me for the future, for a better guy. I hang out with Peter and also some of his friends to this day, on a nearly weekly basis, and I see who he really is now - I know he's not the guy for me (even though I think he's still an adorable and very attractive guy).
I was clingy with Peter. I texted him too much. I initiated and asked him out a lot, although I never pestered him about having his own space and time. I followed him around at parties. Ultimately, he lost interest, and even though we see each other all the time and are friends now, I know we will never get back together.
The thing is, the lessons I learned from my failed attempts to date Peter set me up extremely well to date Dreamy. I let Dreamy be the man and do all the work. I play a feminine role. I let him have his space but make sure the time we do have together is really special. The younger M would not have been able to keep him around for long.
The thing is, Dreamy would not have been in the right place to date me if we had met any earlier. Until a few months ago, he was going through a really hard time and could not focus on a girl seriously due to those life conditions. However, things started to come together, and he got to a really happy place - he was content with himself, his friends, his career, everything. He had some time with that, he put himself back out there (oh, the joys of online dating!), and then we started dating.
I'm so thankful for our great timing.
This past week, several people and situations have been getting on my nerves. I've been getting worked up over tiny little things - blowing them out of proportion. I have to remind myself of the great, positive things I have to lift me back up...my great, optimistic friend N, my badass manager, my cool new co-worker, and quickly approaching grad school, which will change my life for the better, forever. For the first time in a while, I'm glad to count a guy among one of the positive things - a guy who makes me feel content and secure rather than doubtful, paranoid, and questioning.
Here's to acknowledging the upsides this week!