Sunday, August 18, 2013

Asian Fetish Boy

People like to say, "Don't feel weird about what I'm about to say, but-" and then they say something that is difficult to look past. This kind of statement is often returned with the false promise that things are all good, that there's nothing to feel weird about, etc. If you really like a guy, then sometimes you really can forget about whatever silly thing he's just told you. If deep down, you don't really like the dude, then a situation like this will let you know for sure.

And such is the case with Asian Fetish Boy.

Now, I'm not Asian by any stretch, but I found out fairly soon that I was talking to a guy with an Asian fetish - and that things wouldn't ever work out with us. He talked about all different Asian cultures nonstop and the different languages he had started learning, trips he took, books he read. His social cues were a little off, because he couldn't tell that I had to knowledge on any of these topics and had nothing to contribute to the conversation. He seemed like a nice guy, though, and with some hesitation, I agreed to go to an Asian spa with him, per his request (the specific origin of the spa will remain a secret to protect my identity, of course).

It's definitely weird for a not-super-manly guy to request to go to a spa. I told him it wouldn't be weird, even though it was definitely odd and it was only a second date. And it changed things with us for good...

So the deal was, we'd each go to our respective locker rooms and we'd each see a lot of naked old people of our respective gender. I'd get in some tea-scented hot tubs, hang out a bit in the sauna, and take a shower in the ladies' locker room, then meet him in the communal area (clothed in a flimsy robe thingy) to sit in different hot saunas.

The ladies' room was heavenly. The hot tubs really were like sitting in a fragrant cup of hot tea. They smelled amazing and I wanted to stay all day. The nice thing about being an adult is that now I don't care about being naked in front of people, whether it's in a locker room or in the bedroom (haha), so it was nice to just walk around baring it all without any cares.

Anyway, when our proposed time limit was up, I was sad to put on the robe and go out to the common room. Not many people were there, so when we go into the first sauna room, no one else was there. And I don't even need to give you three guesses to let you figure out what Asian Fetish Boy does...

He starts to try to make out with my face.

The bad news is, we're less than 30 minutes into our date, and I already know it will never work out between us. He was a horrible, terrible, nasty and disgusting kisser. My face got all slobbered on. I really didn't know what to do, because we had at least five more sauna rooms to try, and you betcha that he was going to try to suck face in every single room. It was very awkward, and whatever rapport we'd built on the first date was totally erased and my interest in him had gone down to less than zero. We're talking negative numbers.

Basically I dealt with the situation as best I could. I pulled away as quick as I could from the kiss, kept telling him this room was too hot/I was ready to go to the next room, and I'd try to find the rooms that had other people in it so he couldn't kiss me. Of course, when we'd go into a populated sauna, he'd be ready to leave again in like 60 seconds. I tried to keep myself as quiet and boring in the conversation as I could so that he'd lose interest. He tried to kiss me a couple more times, but I kept my trap shut as tightly as possible and barely let him touch me.

The really weird part about this sauna thing was this unspoken pressure to hook up in some way when you're in a room alone together, and the awkwardness that ensues when you discover you really don't like the person you're stuck in that room with - you're just not interested in any way.

This disaster date happened a few months ago and I still shudder thinking about it. When we left, he asked if he'd see me again. I curtly and noncommittally gave him an "mmhmm" and drove off AFAP (as fast as possible). Never spoke to that dude again.

I hope he can admit to himself one day that he really just needs to date an Asian already, and that he's delusional to think otherwise.

In other news, been seeing a good bit of Peter lately but only in groups, going out on weekends. He made me very happy the other night. His friends were going to the same bar that I was already planning to go to one night recently, so he decided to show up there with them. When we finally found each other he was drunk and hilarious, and there was immediately lots of kissing. As I thought would happen, I've been neglecting Blue ever since I reconnected with Peter. I haven't seen him one time since, so tonight will be the first night I've seen Blue in a while. He's going to be cooking me dinner. Nice, right? It's really difficult for me to focus on two guys I really like, especially because I have a preference for Peter, but tonight will be good. Seeing him in person again will really help me figure things out, although I won't be putting any pressure on myself to make any decisions about either guy.

We shall see...

1 comment:

  1. Bad kissing is the worst.thing.ever. It's a major dealbreaker for me (i.e. a huge driver of why I broke it off with the Consultant). Hilarious that this guy's blog nickname is Asian Fetish Guy.

    It's good you aren't putting pressure on yourself about Blue, but at some point you'll have to be fair to him and yourself. Especially if he's so nice!