Thursday, October 24, 2013

Back on the market

I just stumbled on The Rules Revisited blog and, I must say, it's quite an absorbing read. I'm rethinking all these moments I've had with the better guys I've dated, and I'm seeing where I messed up. I'm wondering how I've even gotten so far with some of them, when I'm so far off many of these rules. I'm definitely an independent thinker, and won't bear "The Rules" as my personal dating Bible, but I could seriously stand to benefit from them. I initiate texts too much and initiate dates too much, and guys say yes - but it's more of a "Why not?" attitude than them genuinely feeling for me.

I've already been following the rules this week and haven't initiated a word to Blue. Now I notice that we're definitely talking less. I can feel him drifting away, but it's okay. Clinging to a guy who may never love me is just going to be messier later. I'm calling this one: Pretty sure, from how I'm feeling about things, that I've already seen him for the last time.

I can spot five zillion trillion things I did wrong with Peter, but that's okay too. I was telling a friend the other day that, I think underneath the show Peter puts on, he's as cold as a stone. And I don't want to end up with someone who doesn't have a heart.

So I went big and logged back into my dating profiles last night - put up new pictures and everything. It's been a whole three and a half months since I've been on the dating sites, which now I can definitely see was one of my mistakes. I'll miss what I had with Blue at the beginning of our story, but I'm excited for new stories and new boys men.


  1. M, I feel like we're living parallel lives at this moment.

    I'm sorry things fizzle with Blue, though like you advised to me, you don't really know it's all over. Of course, if he does initiate, do you really want him? THat's the toughest part.

    As for The Rules Revisited, I do like that blog! I don't take everything he says on faith - i.e. imploring women to wear heels - but I do like the way he breaks things down. And all of it basically comes down to the fact that men aren't as complex as we think (!) - if they like you, they'll do something about it. If they don't, you shouldn't want them.

  2. I can definitely see the parallels as well...

    Love your summary of the main idea of The Rules blog, and I'd totally curious about the guy who's behind it all. Haha, I do remember reading that you're not the biggest heels fan!

    Blue actually did initiate a conversation all by his big boy self this weekend. I'm feeling good about the distance, though. Dropping expectations of him helps me stop being pissed at him, so that if I do see him again, hopefully there will be some good feelings.

    But getting back in touch makes me feel guilty about getting on my dating profile. This is where my problem lies! You seem better about this than me, about not committing to the guy until he commits to you.

    1. I used to feel guilty, but I realized that I cannot afford to waste my time on a guy who is unsure about me. So if he's not trying to "lock me down", he doesn't get to have me exclusively. Even if I"m not actively dating someone else, I will always keep my options open for as long as the guy allows it.

    2. Cannot get over how wise you are, Sabrina. Now I am fully embracing this mindset!