Sunday, April 27, 2014

Something's off

A couple weekends ago, a girlfriend was Tindering with a guy who invited her to bring her girlfriends for a night out with a bunch of his guy friends. One Friday night, four of us ladies met up with the guys in uptown, and they escorted us (in a party bus!) to a nearby club. There were a couple cute guys in the group, but I was mostly there for the awesome bus and the free drinks/VIP treatment we were promised. ;)

The club was kind of a bust that night, and we kind of had to stand around awkwardly before we even got one free drink. A couple of us girls were feeling a little too sober and like the night wasn't living up to what we'd been told. I felt a little bitchy about feeling that way, but oh well. One of the guys from our group was also standing around looking a little bored, so he walked up to me, saying, "I'm going to come over and stand by you."

He decided to break the ice by asking, "So, what do you look for in a guy?" I liked it. It was a fun conversation to have with someone, especially with a cute guy who you're not sure is interested in you or not. Now that he was right next to me, I noticed that he was pretty much my type (read: blond). I sheepishly admitted that I can't help but being attracted to blond guys, but of course prefaced with that they need to be very smart, nice, respectful, etc. Thinking back, I don't remember what he said in return about his taste in girls, but it was pretty flirty.

He bought me a couple of overpriced drinks and was basically my talking buddy for the night. He was a little shy, but I liked that about him. If a guy's too confident, it leads me to think that 5,766 girls are already after him. Some random (younger and overeager) club girl did keep trying to hit on him throughout the night, but he kept landing by my side instead. At one point, he told me he wanted to tell me a secret.

"What is it?!" I was excited. It sounded juicy.

"So... You're really pretty. Is that stupid?"

I told him it wasn't stupid - that it was cute he said that.

On the ride home, he kicked his legs over my lap, and I tried to steal his shoes. He was cute and easy to be with. I liked him.

He asked about the longest relationship I'd been in. After he heard my answer, he told me I was worse than him, but that he did enjoy being single. "That's probably not what you want to hear, though." Cue awkward silence.

The group got back to the guys' house, and since I had things to do in the morning, I started talking about how I was going to leave soon. He didn't really react. He even disappeared into the kitchen for a while, and he caught me as I opened the front door to go out to my cab.

"It was nice meeting you," he said, waving goodbye.

He had never asked for my number.

Immediately after getting into my cab, I texted my girlfriend who was still at the guys' place (and paired up with the other cute guy) and had her do some quick investigating.

Soon, she texted back with an answer. The guy didn't ask for my number because... He had a girlfriend.

Wow. That hadn't even occurred to me! What about the part where he asked a bunch of relationship questions, or the part where he said he likes being single?! Talk about omitting something pretty big there! Guess the next time I find a flirt buddy for the night, I need to figure out if he really is single or not.


  1. Urgh. I suppose he wasn't out of line with you, maybe he's just flirty in general and his girlfriend knows it. But that is disappointing that a cute guy would take time to speak to you AND buy you drinks, simply for the pleasure of your company at that moment because he has a lady at home.

    1. Yeah, on one hand, it's annoying that one guy wasted my time when I could have been meeting someone else, but I guess the reason I wrote the post was so that I could remember the night - because it did end up being really fun. Even though nothing happened with the guy, I am glad we spent the time had been a boring night up until then, and he made sure I didn't have to buy my own drinks!

  2. He didn't want to close the door on hooking up with you, that's why he didn't disclose any of that. I'm guessing he either was a) lazy and didn't want to put any effort into hooking up with you or b) his guilt was coming and going.

    Honestly, in the past I was slightly like this guy (taken, don't disclose it, but flirty but don't do anything else). The "potential" gives you a little thrill but in the end nothing comes of it.

    Yeah, I know, sucks for you, and makes it even harder for you to figure out who the "good guys" are. I can't justify it at all.

    1. Even if it's not the best news for us ladies, it's still great to have some male perspective! Guess he chickened out/felt guilty/just wanted an ego boost then, because he didn't attempt to hook up. But "the thrill" aspect definitely makes sense too. A guy friend of an ex recently told me my ex hits on a lot of not-so-attractive girls just for the thrill aspect of it...and probably for a higher success rate with hooking up, but that is its own tangent...