Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Bad, Bad Girl

I'm sure many ladies would think I'm a bad, bad girl for doing this, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had nothing more to lose with him. So, I texted Blue. I got over him, met a few new guys, and had my run with Arms, but after all this time, Blue suddenly popped back into my head and wasn't going away. He was going to be one of those guys I started comparing everyone else to - and no one else was living up.

So I was thinking that I only have one life to live, and I still had a glimmer of hope, so I went for it!

I started typing the message in my gym parking lot, and my stomach got a terrible feeling as soon as I pressed the "Send" button. I ran into the gym and immediately threw my phone in a locker and secured it so it would be out of sight for my entire workout.

I had a good hour-plus to tame my nerves, but I couldn't help but get this goofy smile, now that I was allowing myself to remember things about Blue. Our first date on the rooftop... His bright, clear blue eyes (where his nickname came from). The way he smiled at me before we'd go to sleep. The way he looked at me one summer night last year, while we were out dancing and he'd had a little more to drink than usual. How he liked to go to sleep at 10pm because he said he was "getting old."

After my workout, I had a feeling of dread as I pulled my bag out of my locker.

I turned the screen on. Blue's name and an iMessage notification were waiting on my phone...


  1. YOLO. As long as Blue puts in as much effort, I think you're good to go :) But if it's the same as last time, then at least you'll know he hasn't changed and it wasn't meant to be.

    1. I like what you said about putting in equal effort - agreed!

      This happened a couple weeks ago actually, so the story is to be continued... ;)