Bring on the unexpected

I finally have another d-d-d-date! It's a date that may actually be promising - you know, since on my last one I ended up ditching the dude under the guise of "going to the bathroom."

So this new guy is already in the grad program I'm about to start, but we met online... I sure hope everything remains civil, just in case we ever run into each other on campus. But that's getting ahead of things! To top things off, the date is on a Saturday night (The Rules women would be proud) at a super cool restaurant/bar. To be truthful, the reason my last several (okay, four, but who's counting?) dates didn't go well is because the guys weren't too attractive in reality; they just had a couple pictures that turned out good for them, or their photos disguised a really thin body or their (lack of) height. In the past, I've had a ton of luck meeting smart, sweet hotties online - hopefully that streak hasn't ended!

In other news, I am traveling to New York City in several days for a school-related career event, and I'm staying with a possibly hot, very successful guy who graduated from Harvard and has a badass apartment. I've never met the guy before, and the way I arranged this living situation is a little unconventional, but I'm incredibly excited about the adventure. Bring on the unexpected, I say.

More on Blue

If you read my last post, you know I decided to contact Blue, an ex from last year. So after he returned my initial message, we engaged in a little small talk via text; but his replies seemed a little shorter than normal. It's as if he was replying because he felt like he had to out of social obligation, not because he wanted to. I decided to just get to the point and asked him if he wanted to get a drink sometime the next week to catch up with each other.

I didn't hear back after that.

I wrote it off, and I was annoyed that he'd responded in the first place if he wasn't even the slightest bit interested in seeing me. I decided I was glad I got in touch with him and that his actions just confirmed that our parting ways was a good thing.

Then, I unexpectedly heard from him again the next week.

He apologized for the delay, saying he'd changed phones and lost his texts/numbers for a few days. I resolved not to read too much into his silence and casually continued the conversation...even though he didn't even address my invitation for a drink. He remained a little short, but he still answered my texts as long as I included a question for him to answer.

I left him alone for a couple days, then in my email, I came across a Derby event that reminded me of him. It sounded like something we'd both enjoy, so I sent him a screenshot of the flyer and asked if he wanted to go. He told me that "unfortunately" he would be out of town and told me where he was going... But he didn't say anything else! No "maybe another time?" or "what about a different night?"...nothing. I chose to be sweet and responded with, "Hope you have fun! Maybe I'll catch you another time." Maybe you noticed, but I didn't include a question for him to answer in the text - I waited to see what he'd say - or if he'd say anything. And I got nothing. It's been about a month now, and I've heard nothing.

It was fun to get the little butterflies over him again, but that book is officially closed. I got my answer, and I'm really okay with it.

Sadly though, I've been on dates with four new guys since my time with Arms, and they all sucked. Really, really sucked. Like, worst dates in my extensive online dating career. I told one of these duds I'd be at a certain concert with friends, and the guy showed up and expected me to spend the entire time alone with him. He turned out to be super awkward and not cute at all - plus he lied about his height by a good 5 inches and made a very inappropriate comment alluding to me going home with him. I don't feel bad about this - but I told him I had to use the ladies room and never came back. Oops.

Quality guys...where are you?!?

Bad, Bad Girl

I'm sure many ladies would think I'm a bad, bad girl for doing this, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had nothing more to lose with him. So, I texted Blue. I got over him, met a few new guys, and had my run with Arms, but after all this time, Blue suddenly popped back into my head and wasn't going away. He was going to be one of those guys I started comparing everyone else to - and no one else was living up.

So I was thinking that I only have one life to live, and I still had a glimmer of hope, so I went for it!

I started typing the message in my gym parking lot, and my stomach got a terrible feeling as soon as I pressed the "Send" button. I ran into the gym and immediately threw my phone in a locker and secured it so it would be out of sight for my entire workout.

I had a good hour-plus to tame my nerves, but I couldn't help but get this goofy smile, now that I was allowing myself to remember things about Blue. Our first date on the rooftop... His bright, clear blue eyes (where his nickname came from). The way he smiled at me before we'd go to sleep. The way he looked at me one summer night last year, while we were out dancing and he'd had a little more to drink than usual. How he liked to go to sleep at 10pm because he said he was "getting old."

After my workout, I had a feeling of dread as I pulled my bag out of my locker.

I turned the screen on. Blue's name and an iMessage notification were waiting on my phone...