Irritated

I've told multiple people now that I'm dating my future husband. Things have been so good, but I think speaking these words is coming back around to bite me in the ass.

August and I had a great date earlier in the week, but since he's been unreliable and frustrating. I've been really irritated over it, because normally he's very communicative. Of course I start to overanalyze and wonder what it all means - if he's losing interest or just busy.

It started after earlier in the week, when he invited me to hang out with him and his friends Friday (which was last night). I had Friday dinner plans but told August I'd text him and see where he was after. So I had this prior invite from him, you see, and so when I did text him during Friday dinner he kind of just blew me off and made no mention of us hanging out at all later. I was trying to push the conversation toward figuring out when he'd be at the bars so I could join, but he just wasn't helpful at all. It made me really confused, because he seemed like he had really wanted me there earlier. I just let the text conversation end, because he just made me feel unwanted.

We'd had definite plans for this afternoon (Saturday) but only a general timeframe. So the morning comes and goes and he's made no mention of our plans today. I told myself I'd wait and not say anything until he did, but I caved and shot him a curt text about meeting him. Over an hour later (definitely after the timeframe we'd discussed), he finally texts me back and says he's held up with something else at his friend's house. I'm glad he texted back, but I'm also pissed and irritated. I wonder if the evening would have went by with nothing from him if I hadn't said something first.

This is the type of shit Paolo used to do. I'm going to have to have a talk with August, but it's going to be hard. Everything has been great up until now, but I feel like I'm going to come off really bitchy when I bring this up. When I'm around him, I've been sweet as sugar so it's a side he hasn't seen. Is it too much to ask to just confirm plans? Sabrina talks about this all the time, so maybe it's just drilled into my brain, but I thought confirming plans was common courtesy.

Another thing that is awkward for me with him is the meeting the friends thing. He went to undergrad in town, so he knows loads of guy friends here. They hang out all the time and he's been talking about me coming with him to all these events he and the guys have coming up. It makes me excited, but at the same time, I don't have big groups of friends I party with here. I usually hang out with friends one-on-one or similarly small groups. I don't keep guy friends around too long because they always want more, and I don't have too many large group events that go on regularly that I'd even bring him to. What's he going to do, hang out as a third wheel when a girlfriend and I have dinner? I just feel like he's going to think I'm lame and don't have any friends because I haven't talked about inviting him along to anything that's going on in my life. I feel like this is one of those deep worries I don't want to talk with him about.

Aside from that, he'd better kiss ass today and make it up to me, because even after writing this rant-seeming blog post, I'm still mad at him!