Well, I owe an update on the Arms situation. Is he moving? Is he not? Well, unfortunately it's still complicated. He doesn't have an exact answer as far as his opportunity here in town goes, and he's in the process of signing the dotted lines for the out-of-town offer but could still stop the process if he suddenly got an offer here. He's thrown it out that it would only be temporary, and he's put a number of months on it before he'd move back - but still, that's easy to say and not what always happens in reality.
The possibility of him being far away really got me scared for a minute and I think hyper-inflated my feelings for him. When I had a couple more days to think about it though, I kind of realized that I've started to have a wandering eye and a curiosity about other guys. The next time Arms and I had a date, it was kind of blah and we were both feeling it. We didn't talk much during the week, which was really unusual for us. And since I didn't feel like reaching out to him much, and he didn't initiate anything either, over a week went by without us seeing each other...weird for a time that should be precious to us if he's moving soon.
Thinking back to The Rules (which I've thrown out the window for the most part), if a guy I'm dating isn't trying to book time with me, then back to the dating drawing board I go!
So I basically spent this weekend acting like a single lady! Only...I didn't like it.
So that's where the picture above comes into play...
Haha sorry to fake you out though! It's not what you think. I have this cubic zirconia ring in my jewelry box and am tempted to start wearing it out after what happened this weekend... Basically four different guys tried to kiss me/do other things to me against my will and it came out of nowhere! A friend who was at the same concert as me randomly tried to make out with me - just jumped on me when we weren't even dancing with each other! Earlier on in the weekend a neighbor came into my apartment "for a minute," "to talk to the roommate" (even though I told him to go home because it was 5am and I was dead tired) and then proceeded to watch me brush my teeth, wash my face, etc. and he REFUSED to leave! I was half passing out but was PISSED at the same time. Then he laid on my bed. And would. not. leave. I'm still furious about it just typing this! Who does that?! It goes without saying that I didn't do anything with him, and never would, but this is all to say that the theme of the weekend was dumbass guys irking me to no end. (There were more examples but I won't get into them.)
I'm starting to see the need for labels and engagement rings here. (Not saying Arms and I are anywhere near that stage...) I have another guy to tell you about, but I'll save it for later. Basically, I've started logging back into Tinder, and Arms seems to have noticed and started talking to me much, much more again. I'm still not sure about how I feel about him and a future with him. Guess I might start casually talking to other guys unless I have something definite with him - which, as usual, is what I should have been doing anyway.
And now that I've thrown The Rules out, what do y'all have to say about contacting exes? I'm talking about Blue here. If I'm being honest, I miss him. He tried to reach out to me before Christmas but I ignored him. Not saying that anything will happen, but I just might send him a little text.
Even if we're ignoring the Rules, I'd advise against contacting Blue. He didn't seem to be THAT into you, you know? I know it's easier said than done, but it seems like Blue just wasn't into having a real relationship and that is obviously what you're craving.
ReplyDeleteAs for dating other men.... sigh. In theory, we ladies should all be doing this until a guy declares things official - not just exclusive, but with a label. But that sort of thing happens in romantic comedies and random anecdotes used by Rules writers (and other authors).
In practice, you have to figure out if you think you are wasting time with Arms, or if you genuinely just want to date him and see where things go. So there's a practical element, and an emotional element. :)
Blame my roomie! She asked me about him recently and planted the idea in my head. You're probably right, though. A friend actually brought up the topic yesterday also - how often does getting back together with an ex work out anyway? To be honest I still secretly hope I'll run into him somewhere, but for now I'm not going to text! :) He's a few years older than me and his siblings are marrying off, so I'm sure he's going to feel the pressure for wife-hunting mode soon if not already.
DeleteAs for the practical vs. emotional elements you mentioned, coasting along and seeing how things go sounds like a good idea for the time being.