Wednesday, June 24, 2015


I have not seen Dreamy since my last post. Two days after our argument, he asked if we could cook dinner together that night. Planning to officially break up with him, I said yes (but that I could not stay too long that night). A couple hours later, he canceled. I was annoyed. He said we should do Friday instead. I didn't respond, because that was the first week of my internship, and I had no idea yet how long I was going to be at work that first week and if we would have happy hours or things like that after.

A few days later, he asked about it again, wondering if he got mixed up about when I was going out of town. I briefly explained that work stuff was up in the air so I couldn't agree to anything, but that I'd be going out of town later in the weekend. He did not ask how the first week of work was, and he never responded to my last text. He never responded or called again. As you all may have picked up on, I had been very scared to have the break-up conversation. So, after a year of dating, it looks like we have settled on a mutual fade-out.

It sounds pretty messed up, but I am kind of fine parting ways silently. There is no nice way to say to someone that you don't have feelings for them. Admittedly, I feel bad about him paying for dates once almost every week for a year, and I feel bad about not parting with any final good words so he knows I am grateful for the good times. Oh well. We haven't exchanged any texts in two weeks, and I haven't seen him in three weeks. So... I'm going to declare it.


I feel oddly free. I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me again, full of possibilities and hotties. I still feel the sporadic twinge of guilt for not ending this in an adult way, but *he didn't either!* I haven't started dating again yet, but I do have my eye on someone. And surprise! - it's not Hot Roomie! (While he's still a hottie, he just does not seem interested.)

I have to travel to SF a bunch for my internship, and I am sensing that one of my fellow interns (henceforth called "Romeo") is interested in me. After a work-sponsored happy hour in SF, a few of the interns and I set out for dinner near The Embarcadero. Romeo and I ended up getting seats next to each other. I had first met him during final round interviews at the beginning of the year, but we didn't interact much then. At this dinner, we kept each other entertained; he kept cracking jokes about leaving his number for the (much older) waitress. Even though I was the lone female in our group, Romeo made an effort to ask around the dinner table to see who was single. When it was his turn, he said he had broken up with his girlfriend recently. When the subject turned to me, in a joking way I said I was with someone but we were on the rocks and basically over. I don't think guys normally ask other guys about their girlfriends on a first meeting, so I think this question of Romeo's was really for me.

Earlier during the dinner, Romeo had told me he would buy me a drink later that night, and he, another intern, and I were the only ones game for "one more" drink after dinner was over. (Our trio did not have to reconvene for work until noon the next day, while everyone else was out of luck.) Somehow Romeo convinced us to go to several bars in a row instead of just one, until finally the other guy called it a night, leaving just Romeo and me. I had decided by that point that I was interested in Romeo and agreed to one more bar. I really enjoyed being out with him, and even though I was so tired, at his request I stopped by his apartment with him for a few minutes before I went back to my hotel. Nothing happened, no kisses or anything, but for this, I'm glad; it would have made me look bad since my girlfriend status was still uncertain at the time.

This sounds a little self-involved to say, but I think one of the other interns likes me too. I kept catching him and Romeo looking at me the next day. I mention this because having two people act this certain way makes the action easier to interpret as interest (especially compared to actions of Hot Roomie and his lack of interest). I hope Romeo does like me, because I am highly anticipating my next trip to SF (and seeing him). If Romeo and I both get full-time offers after the internship, it is very likely we would both be located in SF. SF gets a bad reputation within the dating blog world, but honestly, I am looking forward to a new start and new possibilities. It really does feel nice to be excited about a guy again!


  1. I'm glad things with Dreamy are wrapped up, however it happened. Life's too short too stay with someone who isn't right for you!

    Good luck being back on the single market! :-)

    1. Thanks a lot! You are so right - life's way too short for that!

  2. SF is just a cultural shock for women moving here - in many ways - from what they are used to. And it really IS a place where 40 is the new 30, I see it every day. But it doesn't mean that all the guys here are bad, you just have to shift your expectations a little.

    From everything you've said about your relationship with Dreamy, the initial excitement wore off really quickly and the relationship became unfulfilling rather quickly. I could be completely misinterpreting things. But I'm glad you're getting new start.

    1. I like the sounds of "40 is the new 30"! At our SF office, there are so many hot guys! I will have to continue studying during my subsequent visits to evaluate the SF guys for myself.

      I think you summed up my feelings fairly well... I didn't realize that I wasn't excited anymore at the time, but something started to feel off around month 5. Thanks, I am glad for a new start too.

  3. Hi M, Congrats on being single! I see nothing wrong with a mutual fade out (and have definitely gotten a lot of hater comments about it). Don't be surprised if you hear from him again, they always reappear :-) It's great to hang out with guy when you are outs with another, helps you move on faster (though, like Sabrina said, the excitement had already worn off...)

    Glad you are enjoying SF and meeting guys you could potentially be interested in!

    1. Thanks a lot, AG! I have come to terms with this fade out rather than feeling guilty. If you both "get" it yet don't want to have the awkward conversation, then hey, why not. Plus, I always said thank you when he paid for our dates, so I don't need to thank him again.