Third date

I really need to think of a better name for the younger man, so I'm going to go with Cam - for no other reason than it seems like a hot guy name that would suit him. He mentioned getting together over the weekend, and we ended up starting a new TV series together and making cocktails. I wore my new Anthropologie shirt I am obsessed with, and he brought cookies his mom made, which I thought was cute.

It felt like too long since I had seen him. It had been almost two weeks because of holiday travel. I had forgotten how attracted I was to him; I found myself not looking at him as much as I wanted to because I was trying not to stare.

I really love sharing a TV series with someone, especially starting from episode one together. It was fun trading comments with Cam about the odd characters, and it was nice having someone to drink the boozy cocktails I love to make. We kept having side conversations too, but somehow Cam managed to keep up with most of the plot and fill me in on the parts I had missed.

On our first date, at the cocktail bar, Cam would occasionally dive in when I wasn't expecting it and plant a surprise kiss; I really liked it. This night, he did it again, and during the third episode, we gave up on the show, haha. I need to go back and see what I've missed, but if I end up liking it, I'm not sure if I should wait for him to keep watching or not. He stayed over that night, and I rested pretty well having him there.

Cam worked in New York City for a little while after graduation, so unless he had it already, he must have picked up some of that assertiveness guys are known for from there. I still love thinking about the line he used to make me stop and turn around at the bar on the night that we met. I almost don't want to write out what he said, because it would cheapen it, or reveal my identity (I know, I'm paranoid). He laughs that he "can't believe it worked," but I countered that it got my attention, it wasn't degrading, and it was clever. Plus he looked like someone I wanted to stop for.

I've been reading and watching a lot of Matthew Hussey's dating advice lately, which I have been loving and is actually very different from The Rules. Matthew emphasizes not waiting around for guys to talk to you - sometimes you have to create those opportunities and even be the one that starts the conversation (but still let him pursue you). Well, I had really been diving into his material. Even though I used to purposefully avoid talking to guys at bars because I didn't think I could take them seriously, I was starting to come around and plan to use some of Matthew's advice on guys at bars. But I keep thinking that I got lucky - Cam made it easy for me and spoke to me first.

Still, I am trying to remember to use the new things I've learned. For one, I think I did a good job of making Cam feel useful, because I left it to him to figure out how to change the source mode on our TV (it's new and I am legitimately TV-clueless) and later I asked him to carry a heavy box to my car.

I really like the guy. I may be starting to have feelings for one guy (Cam), but that doesn't mean I no longer feel compelled to cyber-stalk a different guy (Sam, ugh). I realized I hadn't looked at Sam's Instagram page before, and I was pleased to find that it is public. I was displeased to find that he has posted three pictures now with female classmate. Ew. I haven't seen or heard from Sam since school let out last semester, but next week, we're all back on campus again. I wonder if he'll ignore me in the halls in the coming weeks, because he and female classmate are more established and cozy now, or if he'll still flirt, for fun's sake or just for a backup plan. Either way, I don't know if it's to my advantage to remain kind, mock-innocent to his recent coupling, or to adopt a bitchy edge (which I somewhat feel entitled to take on, given our backstory), thus ensuring he does not receive any amount of ego boosting associated with me.

One of my best local friends is having a big birthday party in a couple weeks. The invite description is amazing and hilarious, and the party theme is prom of decades past. Dates are "highly encouraged." I don't know if I should ask Cam to prom, or if I should tell him about the party and hint that I wish someone would ask me to prom. The latter seems like the better idea.