Monday, June 9, 2014

Thoughts on dating multiple people...

Things with "promising date" guy from my last post are going well. At one point this weekend, I was pretty sure I had messed things up and that I wouldn't hear back from him again - but nope. It seems that he's hooked. ;)

Fears about disappearing men definitely surface when I start dating someone new. In the several hours between the end of our date and his text later that night, I was already mourning what I thought I had lost with him.

This is where the "dating multiple people" part plays in... I got the assurance I needed that he was still very interested, and that night I also had a first date booked with another guy. This new guy was a bit of a gamble - he found me online, and he was one of those guys who only had one profile picture. It looked fine enough where I was willing to talk to him a little and give it a chance.

I walked into the restaurant and saw a blond guy sitting down. I wasn't sure it was him, but he stood up and greeted me. And he was tall. Wow.

So we sat down and started talking, and almost immediately I was drawn to him. He was definitely good looking, but it wasn't his looks that got me - it was his voice and the way he talked, quietly and slowly, that had me blushing within the first couple minutes. It defined sexy. I seriously could not wipe the smile off of my face.

I've thought about him a lot today. The date went well, and we had great moments - we connected, but I don't know if it's enough for a guy like him. There's nothing that I think I did wrong - it's just that he was one of those guys who is very wise, has a lot of passion, a lot of depth. He's on his own level. I've set my expectations low and have told myself I'll likely never see him again. So I'll just go ahead and name him Dreamy.

Part of me is glad we met. It makes me hopeful that I'll fall crazy in love someday, and it reminds me that guys like Blue and Peter are not even the best of the guys out there. The other part of me sees Dreamy and feels like I will never catch a guy like him - and that I'm going to have to settle if I ever want to get married.

Back in the day, I thought my first dates with Blue and Paolo went well, but I didn't think either would go for me or contact me again. But even so, I heard from both Blue and Paolo the day following the first date, and they let me know they were interested. Dreamy and I didn't text much before we met, just set up the date and that was it. It's been a full day now since our date, and I haven't heard from him.

The sad thing is, he impressed me so much that I'm forgetting why I even like the other guy I just started dating. This is bad...


  1. No, this is good! Like you said, these good dates remind you that nice guys are out there, even if it doesn't lead to anything. And even though you like Guy #1, until you're exclusive, you're both free to date others. So keep Dreamy around! You're still in the getting-to-know-you phase with both, and this will keep you from obsessing too much (which I am SO guilty of). Yay :)

    1. I'd LOVE to keep Dreamy around, but I feel like it's only going to happen if I put in the effort to follow up with him... He still hasn't followed up after our date, so I get the idea that he isn't that interested. I don't know if I'm comfortable feeling like I'm chasing a guy.

      Have you ever had good results being the first one to speak up after a first date?

    2. I haven't, personally - I've only done it once when I reallllly liked the guy and was afraid I needed to nudge him. But it didn't work out, he wrote back something polite but I never heard from him again.

      Of course, I've had guys follow up the next day but then dropped off before a second date.

      Not to get Rules-y, but I do think a guy will follow up if he likes you!