Monday, November 16, 2015

Apparently I'm an expert at running into this guy

I don't go to clubs much these days, but that doesn't mean I'm getting more mature. Business school, limited responsibilities, and my single status mean that I'm back to acting like a younger version of myself. A couple of girl friends invited me to a club this weekend to see a DJ play, and I jumped on it, recalling the good times back from my club days. We danced a bunch, we laughed at some hipster guy's intentionally ridiculous (but hilarious) dance moves. I stood outside the men's room as my girl friends ran in, one of them shouting that she was using the urinal. Ridiculous and so inappropriate but I wouldn't trade it.

Eventually we decided to change the scenery and Uber back to our usual hangout spot, a cluster of dive bars. Continuing their silly behavior, my girl friends danced ridiculously through the bar as we searched for a spot to park ourselves. That's when my gaze zeroed in on Chase. Of course he was there, and this time it had nothing to do with my roomie's orchestration. Chase was buying his drink and didn't see me, so I stuck my rear out and ass-butted him as a greeting. Lee was there too and gave me a hug. Lee immediately wanted to start chatting with me about my two friends. They were still being silly and he was like, "Where did you meet these girls?! They look like so much fun!"

Compared to Lee, Chase remained fairly distant, and at some point I realized Chase was there with another girl. I hadn't talked to Chase since Halloween, when I texted him a picture of Lee dressed up as a girl. Chase's new arm candy was boring-looking in my opinion but wasn't unattractive. She looked a little like me (but while it's catty and immature, she was frankly dressed like a slob).

Lately my sentiment about Chase was that I loved our good times and the way he made me feel, but he had eventually bored me, partly from his inaction and partly because he stopped making me feel the way he initially made me feel. Lately my sentiment was that I still liked him as a person and that I might be friends with him at some point in the future because he was a fun drinking buddy. Yet seeing him that night, seeing him with another girl, made me loathe him in that moment. I kind of still feel that way.

I didn't think of it at the time, but later, for a few moments, I wished I had made out with Lee in front of Chase, just to spite him. I know my history with Lee was something that bothered Chase, and I wanted Chase to feel bothered. In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't do this or think of this at the time - it would be a new low of immaturity. I know I like a couple of my current options better than Chase, but still, seeing him with someone new got to me. And I was surprised it got to me. I thought I had mostly moved on and didn't care much about what Chase has been up to. I think the part that bothers me is knowing that he has moved on, knowing that he is putting some level of effort into another girl, which frankly he never did with me. With us, from his end, it was mostly accidental and convenience.

Thankfully, in addition to running into Chase at the bar, a bunch of our other girl friends were already there. I had so much fun with them that night and didn't let seeing Chase get me down. I don't even know why I felt like writing this - probably partially to clear my mind of the nagging thought of him on that night. I guess this is what closes the book on the Chase story.


  1. Though I don't condone female cattiness, it is perfectly acceptable to hate on a former man/crush/whatever's new flavor of the month!! Dressing like a slob at a club is lame.

    1. Well thank you, I appreciate that! It makes me feel a little better about being mean. It's funny how we are sometimes are more negative towards the new flavor than the guy who chose the new flavor...