Sometimes close analysis of a guy's words and actions is actually helpful. This is one of those times. After having several flirtatious conversations with Sam this week, yet not hearing from him outside of school, I began to try and piece things together. What was going on? Why was he taking so long to concretely ask me out?
Then I realized that he actually hadn't suggested getting drinks again since the first time we talked in the hallway at school. The day after the cocktail event this weekend, I spotted a photo of several of my classmates on my Facebook feed. I almost kept scrolling right through, when I realized I had seen a tall guy with black hair in the background. I zoomed in on the photo, and it was him. It was Sam. And the female classmate was sitting right next to him, less than 24 hours after I had realized I did feel a connection with him.
It didn't take too much longer for it to occur to me: what if "Why didn't I ask you out before?" really meant, "Why didn't I ask you out before I started going on dates with female classmate?"
So just like that, I put it together. He's fine flirting in person if our classmate isn't around, but he doesn't follow through because he knows that a date with me could possibly mean big trouble for him with this other girl. I admire and respect that he's being loyal to her. He seems like a player by the way he flirts, but if he doesn't follow through, at least that means he sticks with his girl. While I'm fine with dating several people at once, he's older, so maybe he has a different view on that. Or, maybe he would normally be fine with dating multiple people, but in this case, with dating two girls in the same business school class, there is a high likelihood they (i.e., we) would find out about each other quite quickly.
I'm sad all that excitement was probably for nothing. I doubt I'll see the guy much until 2016, because I won't be at school much for the rest of the year. I can hope that Sam and this girl will fizzle out by the time 2016 rolls around; she's definitely not the most attractive person, but she has a good personality going for her. I don't know though, part of me thinks I won't be single anymore by the time next semester begins.
And that brings me to my date with Blue last night. It was pretty amazing. He took me to a really nice restaurant, and things were just so easy with us. Talking to him was effortless, he looked great, he acted really interested, and I think he's ready for a girlfriend. He lives with his best friend, who has had a girlfriend for a while now, and I think this - plus the fact that he's two years more mature since the last time we dated - means he's on the prowl for something stable now too. Also, unlike Sam, lately Blue has been asking me out frequently. At the end of our date last night, he wanted to make plans for the same day he gets back in town from visiting his family for Thanksgiving.
So while I was disappointed to have this epiphany about Sam, I'm not going to let it stop me from being excited about Blue. It's nice to have an extremely gorgeous, fun guy express interest and try to be a regular part of my life (ahem, unlike Sam and Ted right now).