Sunday, July 19, 2015

Mission: Accomplished

Originally, I had Romeo on my mind for my return trip to SF. I was still excited to see him; however, on my (very long) plane ride over to the West coast, I kept thinking about Ryan.

With Dreamy, I initiated nothing. However, I think Sabrina was right in a comment she recently made; being completely passive doesn't work for me. In the end, I did not develop real feelings for Dreamy because I had nothing at stake. I never made myself vulnerable - never reached out to him unless it was returning a phone call or text.

It was a big step for me to procure Ryan's number and text him first. I was nervous about being rejected or not receiving a response. In light of what I had learned about Ryan - that he had had only one girlfriend and apparently had "no game" with girls - I thought it was appropriate and necessary for me to reach out to him.

Bestie had also prepped me that it would be best if I framed my request to Ryan around seeing new parts of SF (which I implied meant not to make it about seeing him). I took her advice. I sent the text right before my plane took off, then immediately turned the phone off so I couldn't obsess about it during my flight. However, I kept thinking about what a night with Ryan might be like. ;)

When I restarted my phone after landing in SF, I was bummed to discover I hadn't heard back from Ryan. I didn't hear from him that night either. The next day, all the interns were reunited, and I was able to see Romeo's lovely face again. We were together at the office all day but didn't talk much. When we were given a lunch break, Romeo and I decided to go out for coffee together (SF has the best coffee!), and one other intern ended up tagging along. It was nice to catch up a little, and I was hoping we would do more of that at happy hour.

Once we arrived back at the office, I checked my phone and was overjoyed to discover that Ryan had written back to make plans with me. Responding to him was going to have to wait, though, because he made me wait first.

HR had organized a happy hour just for the interns, so we walked to a restaurant several blocks away after the day of programming was over. Romeo had an open spot next to him at the table, and he motioned for me to sit next to him. After a few minutes of sitting next to each other, though, he didn't seem that interested and didn't really engage in conversation. Reflecting back on our first night out in SF (the previous visit), I don't remember what we discussed once we started drinking after dinner. I realized I didn't know that much about him, and I really didn't know what to talk to him about. Romeo started looking at his phone and then got up to talk to the male interns huddled around the bar. At that point, my read was, "Definitely not interested." Maybe once we were talking, we realized we didn't have much chemistry? My other guesses were that he had gotten back together with the ex he had recently parted with or that he already had someone new he was seriously interested in.

So, I started texting Ryan instead. He shot me a teaser photo of the amazing view from his apartment, and we made plans to go out the next night.

We all left the restaurant at the same time. I wasn't sure of everyone's plans but definitely wanted to go out. We arrived at one intersection, and Romeo's group walked one way. Another group started walking a different way. Someone quickly explained that Romeo's group was going home for the night, but the other group was going out. Something definitely had to be up with him, because Romeo was usually the guy asking who all was going out. I decided to walk with the party group, and we had an enjoyable and late night of more drinks. The downside was that we stayed in our immediate work area rather than exploring a new one.

The next day, I ended up being in a small group with Romeo when we went out to lunch. He seemed a little more sociable but still not that interested. He was surprised that we had all went out the night before though - he must have been walking with the wrong group. ;) I was surprised too, because I thought he had just wanted to go home. A group of four of us, including Romeo, went out for happy hour after we were done with the day of intern activities. Romeo didn't put much effort in to engage, and I noticed him yawning and checking his phone as well - definitely not the makings of chemistry. I didn't fret: I had a hot date with Ryan, who had decided we were going out for dinner and drinks in his neighborhood. After a drink with the intern boys, I said my goodbyes and headed on my next adventure.

Ryan's area of town was one new to me. He gave me a quick tour of his apartment, which was incredible given my expectations about SF real estate - it was huge and had a gorgeous view of the water. That view alone made me want to move to SF.

Talking with Ryan was starkly different compared to my interactions with guys who aren't interested (i.e., Hot Roomie and, now, Romeo). Ryan engaged right away and started (lovingly) calling me "nerd" and "silly" throughout our initial conversations. We headed out for a sushi restaurant, which involved a walk down a huge SF hill. I was in heels, and Ryan helped me without hesitation. He was so personable; it was very surprising to me that he hadn't had much luck with the ladies.

The restaurant ended up being really nice. Ryan bought our cocktails at the bar while we were waiting for our table. He shared a few personal things, including some comments that I read to mean that he hadn't been dating since he moved (at least I hoped so!). Like I knew him to do before, he asked plenty of questions, was curious, and was just a pleasure to talk with. I was having so much fun and was trying not to think about how rare it is to find a guy like this.

He started a conversation that turned into a game, essentially, where he said I had to give him a kiss for every wrong answer I gave. We had a couple more cocktails, and he went to town ordering all different kinds of sushi (and took complete responsibility for the bill at the end). While we were walking the stairs to exit the restaurant, he stopped me mid-stair to collect his first kiss. He was so adorable.

Ryan wanted to go to another bar afterwards, and I was excited to see more of SF. We ended up at a 1920's-looking bar, and I was pleased to find out that in addition to amazing coffee, SF also has consistently amazing cocktails. Ryan was so fun to talk to, and I was glad that I already knew who he was as a person since I'd spent group time with him several times before this. I really appreciated that he acted like everyone he met was a friend - he introduced himself by name to the bartender, spotted a friend and introduced himself and me to all the other people in the group, and had done this earlier in the night as well. I liked that he engaged everyone. The main thing that made me lose my attraction for Dreamy was that he was not great in social settings - he often acted like an asshole in social situations and made questionable/asshole-ish statements on the regular that made me not want friends to meet him. Ryan also kissed me at the bar, which I was impressed with considering his friend he knew (a girl, actually) was sitting a few bar stools down.

I was really on cloud nine at this point. I hadn't imagined that Ryan would treat this like a real date. We had talked about sitting on his patio (it's huge!), so we went back to his place. It was quickly reaffirmed that he was an incredible kisser, and I slept over. :) I had expected to feel a high and sense of pride that I had been able to score a date with Ryan while in SF, but I actually had so much fun that it started making me feel depressed. (At least it confirmed that splitting with Dreamy was the best decision ever, because it freed me up for dates like this.)

My next SF trip is coming up in a few weeks. I really hope I will see him next time. Honestly, I feel kind of attached - bad M! I am hoping I can focus on other guys back home; if I move to SF, it wouldn't be for another year anyway. But I had such a good time, and Ryan is kind of wonderful.

I only saw Romeo briefly on my last day in SF, so nothing eventful to report there. Yet once again, I'm counting the days until I'm back!


  1. Ryan must have rent control! SF is a great place to live if you got into the market at the right time, but unfortunately, most people I know live with roommates and pay $1500-$2100 for their own share of the rent.

    SF really does have great coffee (though Portland residents may disagree) and the artisan cocktail bars are aplenty. I'm glad you're loving SF!

    Have you and Ryan stayed in touch since you got home?

    1. Good call! He moved in with a roommate who already had a rent-controlled apartment. He said that even with this, he was still paying a ridiculous amount. But SF seems like it is worth the extra cost! You are so lucky to already be there.

      I heard from him once I got home but haven't talked to him again. I'm not really sure what I should expect though, since we live on different sides of the country :/