Saturday, September 5, 2015

Overcoming a questionable start

You may or may not remember Chase, the boy with "amnesia" from my last post. Well, I have some excellent, tremendously exciting news: my friends found a way to re-introduce us!

As I was embarking on my third date with one of the Tinder guys, I got a text from my girl friend saying that Chase was coming out to the event our other friends had planned for the night. I made a total player move and ended the Tinder date fairly early in order to make it to the event where Chase and my friends would be (at one of those awesome new game, bowling, and bar combination venues).

I knew that meeting Chase again would be awkward, given that he didn't remember me but that his guy friend likely filled him on what happened that night. We kind of awkwardly avoided talking to each other at first, but after I had a couple drinks, of course I began feeling more comfortable about discussing our little situation (and so did he).

"So what exactly happened?" he asked, as he hadn't heard my version of the story yet.

I told him we had had a lot of fun, we danced, and he had told me some pretty funny details (such as volunteering his middle name). He said when he woke up the next day, he had this feeling that he'd had a really good night but couldn't remember why or what had happened.

It's weird, but blackout Chase thankfully has similar taste as regular Chase. After we talked things out, it's almost like we picked right back up where we had left off: there was a lot of kissing and dancing, and I had so much fun. He gives me really good feelings, and he's not like these other guys I've been meeting lately, who get clingy really quickly and who almost try to keep track of you at all times (they ask what you're doing virtually every day - which is very irritating).

He met up with us the next night as well for a little bit. I like him. I'm a little worried that he won't ask me on a real date, because we've just been together in group settings at bars. Based on a few words that our mutual guy friend said to me, I've also inferred Chase is not always an initiator with the ladies. I've been reading this book lately that essentially says a guy may like you enough to put in X and Y effort (e.g., kiss you at a bar) but that doesn't mean he likes you enough to follow through with Z action (e.g., take you on dates and be in a relationship with you). This is a really eye-opening mindset for me but has inspired a bit of pessimism as well. In the future, with a guy I really like, I feel like I am going to be bothered with worries about the quality of his actions and what that means in terms of the strength of his feelings for me.

But I'm not going to chase Chase, even though I feel this odd compulsion to do so. I am going to sit back, wait, and hope he makes moves on his own.

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